Planting forged astronomy records in China and mass-hypnotizing China to believe in the Tang Dynasty were difficult, and starting a competing Abrahamic religion in Arabia so quickly and growing it into an empire overnight was certainly risky, but the really hard part was rearranging the Solar system to move the comets and eclipses. Maybe the Catholic church hired the aliens that helped with the Pyramids. /s
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Well they do work for tips.
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Yeah, I was going to say - I’ve seen at least a couple in various churches. And enough wood from The Cross to build a house, multiple heads of John the Baptist, etc.
I like to think they’re all real. John the Baptist looked like Ravana and Jesus was really well endowed (thus all the wood needed for the cross)…
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Totally on-brand for the guy who did the loaves and fishes thing.
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Foreskin Angel: it’s kind and brave and quick. Foreskin angel: protector of your dick.
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I was going to explain that you seem very wed to the idea that the passage of time must have been linear and must have corresponded neatly between Europe and China, but I realized that Time Cube was taken down “some time ago” (whatever that means).
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The fact that Jesus’s foreskin still allegedly exists in the world somewhere is pretty weird, but its existence alone is not the weirdest part.
In unrelated news, there is now a bar in New Jersey where you can buy a cocktail that has had the tip of Jesus’ penis dipped into it.
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The Wayback Machine archived it…
http://web.archive.org/web/20030219072854/http://timecube.com/
I have very mixed feelings about Gene Ray’s demise from old age and the expiration of his website. On the one hand, Time Cube was the chef’s kiss of classic crankery. On the other hand, Ray seems at least partially responsible for driving fellow conspiracy theorist Richard Janczarski to suicide.
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Divine whiskey dick?
Maybe he was a Skook…
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It’s quite common, hence the traditional Catholic exchange:
“May the foreskin be with you.”
“And also with you.”
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One could really have fun naming such a cocktail. Would be hard to chose just one. Maybe the best idea would be to have a weekly cocktail with the blessing added. The the bar could do a Bob’s Burgers style chalk board with the weekly drink/pun.
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When he’s doing a Bar Mitzvah, now that you shouldn’t miss
He’ll always shlep on down for a wedding or a briss
They say he’s got a lot of chutzpah, he’s really quite hhhip
The parents pay the moyl and he gets to the keep the tip!
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Came here to see if anyone said, “what a dick move”, did I miss it? I didn’t see it.
But yeah, what a dick move!
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Magdalene Margaritas, because of the glass, or just a Tequila Son Rise.
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Thank you for upholding the BBS standards! More than 50 posts in. We’re slacking.
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Peñis Colada?
“Putting the “cock” in cocktail.”
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The war on Christmas appears to have escalated.
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I thought that was Tom Cruise…
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Technically, it’s the war on the Feast of the Circumcision.
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Shit Indiana Jones first drafts.
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