Mom rouses sleeping son on Easter morning by tazing him: "Get up! It's Jesus' day!"


#1

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2018/04/10/what-would-jesus-taze.html


#2

Here’s hoping she finds Mothers Day “interesting”.


#3

“She that spareth her prod hateth her son.” – Prodverbs 13:24V


#4

Is there any possibility he’d been sleeping for three days when she tazed him?

Nah, didn’t think so. She’s just from the arsehole school of parenting.


#5

Maybe her sons should quote Luke 14:26 back at her.

If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even their own life—such a person cannot be my disciple.


#6
  1. Seeing the headline “GET UP IT’S JESUS DAY!” is a serious winner. Thank you for that epic laugh @doctorow

  2. This is exactly why I got confirmed in the Catholic Church. So no one had the right to ever tell me I had to get to church again. If I go it’s my own choosing, not some lunatic parent.

p.s. Can we chant “lock her up!” on this?


#7

WWJT? Besides Trump.


#8

Well, I’d bet Jesus was the first word out of his mouth that morning.


#9

Ironically, being tazed prevents you from getting up…


#10

Wall Street, televangelists, prosperity gospel preachers…


#11

anybody who tazed me awake “jesus day” would be meeting him sooner than they planned.


#12

This woman’s doing more to turn his son away from religion than if she blasted atheist propaganda at him Clockwork Orange-style 24/7.


#13

Having been both a teen age son, and the parent of a teenage son, I have to say my loyalties on this one are… divided.

It is probably a Good Thing that I did not have ready access to a taser on hand when my chip off the old block was in his teens, just sayin. But then its probably a Good Thing I did not have access to a firearm either (I live in a sane country with gun laws).

But then I can remember back in the day when my dad surreptitiously installed a VERY LOUD buzzer in my basement teen-lair so my mom didn’t have to go down the stairs to rouse me in the mornings-- Dear Old Dad came very close to death that morning, and it was quickly disassembled.


#14

I can just hear the fundamentalists now, explaining that when Jesus said hate, he didn’t mean hate hate. He just meant we should love Him (and the preacher) even more! This is called reading scripture “literally.”


#15

This is how you make holidays fun for the kids.


#16

jesus-and-the-electric-guitar

Electric Jesus


#17

She cannot be trusted around children.


#18

All I can say is, mom better watch her back from here on.


#19

Ms Dobbins denies the attack, saying she only brandished the Taser and threatened her son with it

Oh, ok, that’s a far more Christian way to honour the Prince of Peace.

she is at a loss to explain the raised marks on his leg where he says the weapon made contact

Could it be…

Dobbins is also at a loss to understand why people might look askance at a mother who tazes her son, saying “No one writes a book on the correct way of parenting.”

She prefers movies:


#20

Lucille Bluth: Well I may not have been a perfect mother, but you know kids don’t come with a handbook!
Narrator: In fact there are thousands of books written on child-rearing.