It’s difficult to register the disgust on someone’s face if you are trying to look up their skirt or staring at their chest.
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This sentiment applies to both men and women, but either way I disagree. There is a possibility of mutual attraction in situations like these, but one doesn’t know unless they try.
But like you said, just ask the person out on a date.
That’s kind of like saying there’s a possibility that some random person you encounter might be a masochist but you’ll never know until you try slapping them around a little.
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That’s a little extreme, I am just talking about rules of engagement re: attraction.
You’re probably the third person here who is making the assumption that Freeman was motivated by the prospect of sex, but he never stated that, nor did any of the women claim that he explicitly asked.
But even people who are looking for casual sex will be better recieved if they do not treat the object of their attention like a piece of meat. A person who demonstrates respect and empathy makes an excellent lay. People without those qualities on the other hand, are guaranteed to be bad lovers at best.
This is about his lack of respect and disregard for their humanity. He treated pretty much every woman he came into contact with as an object to stare at, touch and comment on.
He was a creep. That’s not the same thing as really liking sex.
The expose states clearly that he didn’t, and that what he did was unacceptable at those women’s places of work.
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I’ve seen guys who really lean into the whole “sleazy creep” persona. It’s not pretty.
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Communication is often much more than words; and most people signify interest in another person via body language before they ever even speak:
- Making eye contact
- Genuinely smiling without being prompted
- Uncrossing one’s arms
- Removing one’s headphones
- Putting one’s phone away
Those are all indicators that a person is open to being approached in public.
The problem is when people (particularly men) ignore the signals that indicate the other person is not at all interested and just wants to be left alone.
Amen, Sis; creepy is as creepy does.
Mutual attraction and mutual consent were not factors in Freeman’s inappropriate behavior, and for some folks to act as though it’s harmless or “not that bad” just because he wasn’t actively behaving like freakin’ Pyramid Head is only marginalizing highly problematic attitudes.
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I know others have said that there’s a difference between liking sex and being a creep. This is more of the same, so feel free to ignore, but I thought I’d illustrate the point with a real world example.
I have a friend who I would describe as a man who really likes sex, like stereotypical thinks about sex seven times a minute (or whatever) really-likes-sex.
He told me this story about how he was getting a tattoo and he and the tattoo artist really clicked. It was a big tattoo so they were talking for hours. They really got along, it came up that they were both poly. That all feels like a pretty good set up for flirting.
Then he thought about how if he flirted with the artist they might feel like they have to flirt back because he was paying them a lot of money. He thought about how they probably get hit on all the time at work and how turning guys down in a way that minimizes their anger is probably part of the job even though it shouldn’t be.
So instead of flirting with the tattoo artist, what did he do? He told me about it later. Because I’m his friend, and talking to your friends is a good way to manage uncomfortable emotions like unfulfilled desire, while hitting on women while they are at work is not.
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ok totally get the outrage in this context. BUT, can someone tell me if anything he says is wrong if he were just a stranger making comments (or trying to attract) a women in another context (a party, a bar, on the street, whatever) where it isn’t a work context and he doesn’t have any apparent power over her (I’m assuming the famous part doesn’t play a part here one way or the other). In this later context of no power-dynamic, the comments seem pretty tame flirting…I didn’t watch it all though.
your friend did the right thing. the problem (if it is a problem) is that many marriages are the result of work-place romances and the like.
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I agree that his behavior in the interview clips is inappropriate, and all my comments re: Morgan Freeman are in reference to what I saw in the interview clips. So let me emphasize that I don’t condone his behavior, it’s creepy. I call his behavior ‘light’ harassment because I don’t know what harm his behavior caused. What is the outcome that would make it harmful? Are we defining harmful as someone being uncomfortable? From what I saw it looked like the harm done was that the women interviewing were uncomfortable. Like I expressed earlier, I think it’s ok for an individual to be uncomfortable because it can be a catalyst for good.
For me, the main issue here is that the women in this situation were unable to do anything about their discomfort. Sexual harassment is any unwanted advance. But in general, the key is that the offended person has to make it known to the other that the advance is unwanted. They did not feel like they could let him know they were uncomfortable in this situation because of the interviewer/movie star power dynamic.
The cultural norm should be they can pull him to the side and say ‘Hey no Morgan, that is not ok, you are creeping me out’ without any sort of backlash or fear. But the reality is that this isn’t the case, although maybe society is getting there, albeit slowly. Everybody just needs to keep speaking out on it and calling it out.
Maybe if we can fix that, we can start tackling the bigger issue of some men feeling it’s ok to behave this way.
ps Don’t hold out hope for Denzel or any man in an advantageous position, it’s just setting yourself up for disappointment. Well except Mr Rogers, but I think he’s an exception to the rule.
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If you don’t know, then they don’t want to.
and if you have to be explicit to find out, no you actually don’t have to.
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Guernica is still one of the greatest works of the past century, even though it’s firmly established that Picasso was one of the century’s greatest creeps. Letting the work stand on its own merits is crucial; lionizing the creepy creator is not. I think perhaps it’s even easier for a project like a movie that is so collaborative, even when it strongly reflects the vision of one creepy person.
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Yeah I know people can change. I know it’s fashionable to call someone garbage and assume they’re irredeemable. I’m not christian but I do believe in “hate the sin” not the “sinner”. So when it comes to abhorrent/strange behaviors, I’m often left wondering about root causes. This leads to people assuming I’m being sympathetic or at worse defending the sinner’s actions. With out understanding the root causes though I don’t think we have much chance of fixing the problem. Doesn’t matter how many times I say ‘finding the reason doesn’t absolve one of their behavior’, people need to feel you’re 100% behind attacking the behavior and the person or somehow you’re not moral enough =/
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I’m going to agree with you but have you met some folks that have zero ability to interpret other people’s emotional states? I believe it’s a common issue with autistic individuals (not that there is any reason to assume Morgan is autistic at all).
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Yes I have. Know a few. The ones who you might run into out and about, they are not unaware of the unknown unknowns, and in good faith they mostly have intellectual approaches to the conundrum; in short they are aware and take responsibility in good faith. Two of them though, two of them are unbearable aggressive boundary crossing assholes who happen to be on the spectrum.
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Stop excusing harassment.
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I can play the imperative game too:
Stop rushing to judgement.
