Mormon missionaries share awful pickup lines before homeowner opens door

Growing up, everyone drank plenty of Coke/Pepsi at home, but at church functions is was a strict root beer / 7up world lest you be suspect. I guess that has changed since I got out.

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I think those other things happen, too - but proselytizing has extra benefits that also come from the indoctrination handbook - it forces extreme familiarity with doctrine, it’s a lot of boring work that involves physical labor, and there are moments of stress (hostile targets of proselytizing) that force additional reliance on fellow church members for support. Plus, it does work as proselytizing, even if not very well; although it’s not the perfect demographic to have do that in terms of effectiveness, it is in terms of just being able to get them out there - they don’t yet have family or financial/job obligations nor health issues that prevent older people from doing so. I mean, you’re not going to send anyone over (nor under, obviously) that age, en masse, around the world to proselytize.

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Jehovahs Witnesses do just that. Every last one of them that’s come to my door has been over age 60.

But yes, I understand that the main reason the Mormons use teen boys is a lazy “warm male bodies” military approach to proselytising, with a (supposed) big side of indoctrination. I think they’d be better off using teenaged girls if they’re going to go this way.

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There is an entire genre of gay pornography that involves putative Mormon missionaries, complete with special underwear. I hear. I mean, someone told me about it.

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Half?? That’s certainly giving that liar Joseph Smith a lot of credit. But, otherwise, I dont knock the Mormons at all. They seem like one of the nicest groups of people you’ll ever meet. (uh, except when they’re doing nefarious bullshit like interfering with California Prop 8-- but that’s again the decrepit male hierarchy imposing their will, not the mainstream.)

“Are you the Sword of Laban? Because you are exceedingly fine.”

And, if anyone was at a loss for this cultural reference, you were probably not alone. (I would think it only works with other Mormons.)

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On an individual bases, while my experience is limited, I don’t hold any personal animosity. They also have their shit together when it comes to finances and their network of caring for members.

But Prop 8 and other shenanigans - eh… not so good.

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That was almost painful to watch; horny teenage boys are already awkward as all hell. Throw in some creepy cult indoctrination, and the awkwardness gets turned up to 11.

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Co-worker said Riverside also, so I’m going with Riverside. Two smart people can’t be wrong…

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I was getting a bunch of hockey gear out of my car trunk one day in the driveway and two Mormon guys walked up and offered to lend me a hand. One guy introduced himself as Elder Jerry. I declined their offer of help but spoke to them for a few minutes and politely explained that I was content with my current spiritual status. They were very friendly and I made it a point to be nice to them because I’m sure they get bullied and made fun of regularly, either as they’re walking down the street or on occasional websites they might read. I wanted them to finish that day thinking that they met at least one person who treated them kindly.

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Exactly the point I was making. The value of mission work is less about conversion and more about cementing beliefs.

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Awful? Let’s hear yours, @beschizza!

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All well and good, but do we have any way of verifying that this is authentic footage?

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they definitely have the patter and repartee of like a College Humor set-up, but if it was actually scripted, it’d have some kind of kicker as a pay-off, I’d reckon. Like a husband barrelling out and chasing them away, or the lady coming out and doing a pratfall or something.

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Was your daddy a safe?

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they abstain from alchohol too, as the old joke goes how do you keep a Mormon from drinking all your beer when you go fishing?

A: Bring another Mormon with you!

Based on some of his pics he’s posted, I’d guess it would be something like, “Go out with me or I’ll use my elven ginger magic to swallow your soul!”

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“'Cuz you make me want to show a picture of you to people, and then ignore you for a year…”

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Punk ass kids. I have lived in the Salt Lake area since 92 and I have only had them come to my door once. I told them I was a practicing Pagan and I invited them in so I can show them my altar. They refused and never came back again. Only once in 25 years.

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"Do you have video footage of Mormon missionaries acting like fools? "

That be any video made any time of any missionary of any sort.

Doubly so for those who still cling to a creed several of whose major doctrinal hinges have been completely and thoroughly refuted.

Native Americans are not and cannot be the “Lost Tribes” as the genetics are well known and inescapable.

Plus I seem to recall ol’ J Smith couldn’t produce the same translation twice when tasked by some very skeptical people and he already had a solid rep as a con artist and flim flam man.

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