OK your joke reminded me of this, and I apologize to everyone who probably won’t get to see it because the thread is too old. But you might.
Speaking of toilets, and Texas, and explosives:
ZING!
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Meh. She could have turned it into a flaming puddle using thermite instead but who am I to judge?
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“Used it all up … except for about six sticks… 25 or 30 leftover blasting caps…” The thought of what the full load of explosives in his car would have been like makes my head hurt.
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Pretty sure fabric just turns to ash, not puddles. But maybe it was an chain mail dress.
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Well, that was the most Texas-y thing I’ve seen this weekend, and I doubt it will be beaten before Monday. 
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And that’s the first time I’ve seen anyone use the “cowboy_hat_face” emoji 
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I tried so hard my dear to show that you’re my every dream
Yet you’re afraid each thing I do is just some evil scheme
A memory from your lonesome past keeps us so far apart
Why can’t I free your doubtful mind
And why can’t jet fuel melt your cold cold heart 
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