Passive Aggressive Notes' best of 2013


#1

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#2

But. What were the godless activities?


#3

Note-writer should have drawn a diagram instead...


#4

Being atheistic, loudly.


#5

Maybe he was worshiping nothing, with elaborate liturgy and loud organ music.


#6

1)

2)


#7

the clippy one gets me the most. that was awesome.


#8

kinda wanna know myself. like...what godless activities could they be doing?

whatever it is they should do it more and isolate it to times when the kid is home. nothing beats passive aggressive notes like passive aggressive activities.

i suppose they could also just go next door and say "go fuck yourself" the aggressive response. or i suppose they could do as the note says, the passive response.

i kinda like the aggressive response myself. some people just need a good "go fuck yourself"


#9

Clearly they need to have loud headboard banging sex while screaming "Oh God! Oh Jesus Christ! Oh God, you are so big! Oh God fill me with the Holy Spirit! Now stick your finger up my butt!"


#10

Imagining Eric Idle...


#11

Not praying, like really really HARD.


#12

Yeah, I think I´m going to steal that idea sometime.


#13

Rhubarb grows back after you pull it´s roots out? How?


#14

Listening to Danzig, obviously.


#15

I couldn't help noticing that in some cases the writers of the notes were clearly jerks, while in others the jerk was the intended recipient. I'm tempted to send the owners of this site a handwritten note suggesting it would be so much better if they categorized the notes in this way.


#16

Or the slightly more aggressive than passive: Go over on a snow day or the weekend with a box of candy (or better yet wine) and a big grin! HI! SOOOooo sorry! By the way, you didn't tell us what not to do. Do you mind explaining? In detail?


#17

Walking their dog, reading a non-religious book, teaching a fish to ride a bicycle. Anything that doesn't require the attention of the Big Guy Upstairs.


#18

I prefer not to know, because the real answer might be pretty disappointing. My parents used to live next door to Jehovah's Witnesses. Not knowing this my father innocently asked their six-year old daughter if she would be dressing up for Halloween. She went and asked her parents, and came back a short time later and screamed at my father that they didn't believe in Halloween and that he shouldn't be encouraging such godlessness in her.

My parents chose to deal with their neighbors passively rather than passive-aggressively, which is unfortunate because they could have written a hilarious note, requesting that their neighbors, among other things:

-Please inform your children that it's not necessary to scream all the time.
-Please inform your children that it's not polite to wander unannounced into other peoples' homes and take food out of the refrigerator and/or cabinets. When this is done without asking some people call it "stealing".
-If you expect your neighbors to babysit your children when you go to work or run errands please at least notify us.
-Please ask your children to stop burning used motor oil in a large barrel in your driveway. We realize it may have been one of you who was responsible for the large cloud of black smoke that blanketed the neighborhood causing the fire department to send around a truck to search for the source. At the very least we hope that if it was your children who were improperly disposing of used motor oil they were doing so with adult supervision, but we've learned not to take anything for granted.


#19

Stupid cat is cute and Dance Mom sucks.


#20

Passive aggressive notes should always use the phrase "I would appreciate it if....."