Pennsylvania school district issues teachers billy clubs to combat gun violence

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Better than empty hands, in close quarters.

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I definitely can’t think of any ways that issuing weapons of minimal use against hypothetical gummen but quite adequate to the task of ‘discipline’ incidents getting out of hand. Good thinking there.


Most mass shootings don’t take place in elevators and walk-in closets.


Artist’s impression


What are the yellow things in the bookcase behind him? A hundred copies of edline?


Pennsylvania again. Coincidence?


Be patient. At present there is no data regarding the best blunt instrument to use against an active shooter. As evidence is collected they can refine their tactics.


Especially if the murderer is using his AR15 as a bat instead of as a lethal bullet spurting device. /s


I mean - couldn’t they give them ACTUAL bats? I’m sure they have an athletic supplier already. Would do more actual damage than a light novelty bat purchased from a corporate swag catalog. Or one of probably a hundred different purpose built small metal bludgeoning weapons. MAYBE if this thing was made of solid steel. This feels worse than nothing.


They often take place in hallways and classrooms. That’s still close quarters. Every time the assailant has to turn a corner or enter a room, he is vulnerable.

I still wouldn’t want to be in that situation (duh…), but if I had no other choice, I’d take the bat over nothing.

Anyone else reminded of the final episode of Black Adder? Takes place in WWI, and Blackadder has to lead his men out of the trenches against Germans armed with machine guns. Blackadder, of course, is armed with a stick.


So the teachers are just supposed to carry these things on their person at all times just in case a gunman comes around the corner?

At any rate, if you’re within arm’s reach of a gunman I believe the conventional wisdom is “try to grab the gun,” not “try to hit him with a stick.”

We do have another choice; it’s “pass meaningful gun regulations to make it harder for psychos to get their hands on deadly firearms.” But that’s a politically difficult choice so we keep getting all these silly security theater measures instead just to create the illusion that someone is doing something to solve the problem.


Not to mention the fact that even if you were in a situation where you could use the stick, it takes significant training to know abd be able to use it effectively. Especially if the person you are using it against has armoured up.

There are reasons armies switched over when bullets became available.

Pro-Tip for the keyboard warriors: movies are not real life, real fights don’t have choreographers, and you aren’t actually an action hero.


I think I’d rather have the bucket of rocks. At least with that I can keep some kind of distance, and it’s at least projectile vs projectile… And if it gets “mini bat distance”, you could swing a bucket of rocks as well…

This is all F-ing ridiculous. I know the point is to remind teachers that fighting is an option, but this is such the typical masturbatory violence fantasy. Our brave teachers, armed only with mini-bats, valiantly fought off a rifle wielding maniac… Our brave passengers fought off a terrorist, and sacrificed themselves in the process…

How about some steps to avoid the situation in the first place?


Will they be issuing matching jack boots to complete the outfit?

If they’re not going to do anything substantive, they can at least look impressive.

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Absolutely. If there were nothing else on hand. A roll of toilet paper would also be better than nothing. However, if you were planning in advance, and you thought that you were likely enough to encounter an active shooter that you had to prepare for it, and you prepared by buying yourself a toy bat…

They should have at least paid the extra few cents to have the text of the second amendment printed on it.



Are they also issuing pocket sand? Because these little sourvenir bats work best with pocket sand.