Post your Alternative Facts™

Even though I don’t believe in that festering pile of bullshit and refuse to use any “trumpspeak,” (thereby “legitimizing” it) this seemed like an appropriate place to share this:

I fluv Mark Fiore.

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This is totally going to help fix the House:

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For removing stubborn scratches in polycarbonate optical lenses, apply a small amount of acetone to a chamois and gently rub in a circular motion over the scratched area.

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Of course, the coefficient for this rate depends on the discussion community. BB’s coefficient for this particular law is still being determined, in part because there is disagreement among statisticians on its orders of magnitude.

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It actually does, though. As the length of a conversation grows toward infinity, there is an increased probability that literally anything will come up in conversation.

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Everyone lose pedants.

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When I was in sixth grade, in the mid 1980s, the class participated in a mass balloon release. Each student was given a helium balloon, to which they tied a postcard asking the finder to mail back the card with information on where and when they had found it. I received a reply explaining that my balloon had drifted into the woods behind the school.

These cards were then collected by the teacher and mailed to the RAND corporation, which would then use the data to calculate nuclear fallout trajectories.

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Voles put sugar on everything.

Just remembered the source: Vole Facts Twitter

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FTFY.

Again, this is supposed to be Alternative Facts ™, not actual facts.

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Since Justin’s recent visit to the US, Canadian women (and some men) have been obsessed with POTUS45.

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Women are merely hosts.

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Trained packs of Cabbage Chows have been secretly protecting the world from Xavier Roberts’ unholy army for decades.

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If you’re wondering whether I mean the tweet itself, or what @daneel said in response… Yes.

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Unemployed & not qualified enough to be Wal-Mart greeter, Joe Biden now aimlessly wanders parking lots taking selfies with terrified locals

— Stephen Miller (@redsteeze) February 22, 2017

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Drinking too much coffee can actually make you sleepy.

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Actually true for me.

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Quiet, mutant.

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And my mother, and one of my daughters. See…I told you we’re related!!

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My education was inexpensive and valuable.

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