Post your Alternative Facts™

Charles Barkley founded the band Nirvana and brought Kurt Cobain into the band:

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Watching someone else eat your favorite food is the easiest way to lose weight.

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The Earth is simultaneously hollow and flat.

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Your vote counts!

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The Phantom Menace is the best Star Wars film.

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Matrix Revolutions was the best of the trilogy.

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Being poor is the surest way to be simultaneously happier, healthier, and smarter.

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Corollary: Being rich sucks. Donald Trump and his cronies are doing the rest of us a favor by keeping us from getting rich, or from even staying middle class.

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Researchers have found that, at least in the U.S., personal income and self-reported happiness actually are positively correlated. However, they observed that this correlation plateaus around the $500M mark.

Yes, now I’m mixing in mainstream fact with alternative fact. The challenge is finding out which part I made up. Consider this practice for reading the news for at least the next four years.)

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White people have all the best moves.

Fuller House will earn @Donald_Petersen All the Awards

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The movie Space Jam is proof being a successful professional basketball player also makes one an excellent actor.

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O.J. Simpson did not kill his wife, Nicole, or Ronald Goldman. In fact, his incarceration has kept him from pursuing the real killer–who is an avid golfer.

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Kazaam is another fine example of this truth.

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Best Foods (AKA Hellman’s east of the Rocky Mountains) had a promotional tie-in for Star Wars Episode I. Specially-marked jars were labeled “The Phantom Mayonnaise”.

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IIRC, it was packed in Jar Jars…

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Sun-“Baked” Egg Salad is the best picnic food evar!

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The safest temperature to store raw meat, fish and eggs is between 80 and 110 degrees Fahrenheit.

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Female Body Inspector” is an actual Federal agency who’s agents may be positively identified by their distinctive, official T-Shirts.

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Isn’t that really more of a future fact?

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