Because it’s kinder than assuming he’s a “disingenuous, bigoted, dick” and I try to makes assumptions from a place of compassion as opposed to assuming the worst.
So, rather than assume he means what he says, it’s better to assume he’s a self-hating gay man? So, it’s assuming that bigotry is not a real thing that exists and is aimed at marginalized communities to benefit the majority one, but is only a byproduct of self-hate?
It’s a homophobic trope that just places the blame in the wrong place. It’s not dehumanizing to assume that bigots mean what they say. Many are often proud of their prejudice and are not self-hating, but are promoting the values that they deem to be “good” in this society. And let’s not forget that until relatively recently, it was entirely normal to believe that homophobia was natural and good. Blaming the LGBQT+ community for their OWN oppression does not help to understand that history, it merely obscures it.
[ETA] I’m also wondering why you believe it’s better to be kinder to bigots than to stand with those who are the victims of bigotry… Do you believe it changes them and makes them “do” better if we give them the benefit of the doubt?
We’re literally see laws passed that are attempting to eliminate trans people. At what point should we show support and solidarity with the trans community rather than giving bigots YET more leeway for their awful views? At what point is it OK to hold someone accountable for their views rather than assume the best of them?
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@anon61221983 says it more eloquently but it really fucking isn’t, buddy, that’s a bullshit excuse that helps no-one and continues to hurt the queer community while giving the bigot you don’t even know the benefit of the doubt that they don’t even deserve.
If I sound angry, good, I am. People I care about are in distress and danger and you chose to protect the feelings of an asshole that wants to hurt them, when he’s not even here!
Do better.
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Re: Hell on Earth, there’s no connection with where you live, perhaps?
Kinder to whom?
It isn’t kinder to gay people who aren’t closeted and bigoted against other gay people. It’s kind to him because it potentially allows some of his bad behavior to be blamed on potential gayness maybe?
It’s one of those things that seems nice but isn’t imo.
Feel free to disagree
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IT’s not about “potential gayness” it’s about assumptions made towards an INDIVIDUAL.
Every individual whom I’ve never met before deserves the benefit of the doubt irrespective of what community society lumps them into. I’m sure you’d want that for all the people you care about as well.
If you think having a “modicum of sympathy” is choosing to protect the feelings of an asshole who wants to hurt people, I don’t believe you truly understand the what the words mean or how they were meant.
One last time… compassion is not a zero sum game and I ask of you and your friends to stop wildly extrapolating my thoughts and feelings jus so that you can launch personal attacks.
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He supports fascist politicians and makes hateful statements. It’s a waste of time to give him the benefit of the doubt, especially by making a lazy and baseless assumption that he’s a tortured closet case (which, even in a case where there is proof or open-secret status, does not warrant compassion – see countless Xtianist preachers and at least one fascism-enabling Senator who have a lot of LGBTQ blood on their hands).
Put another way…
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Everyone deserves compassion. It doesn’t mean you can’t hold them accountable for their actions. In fact I would argue you can’t hold anyone accountable for anything if you can’t be compassionate. It has nothing do with apologizing for the behavior.
One does not need to be “a closeted homosexual” to question one’s sexuality or feel anxiety about questioning any of the conditioning that society has inflicted upon them.
You too seem to be reading far too much into what a “modicum of sympathy” entails.
You’re not really asking for compassion. You’re making excuses for and trying to explain away his behaviour based on an empty assumption. “He might be questioning his sexuality” is about as useful as “economic anxiety” or “he just needs to get laid” in terms of explaining statements and actions that actually emerge out of stupidity, ignorance and hatred.
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Please refrain from telling me what my intentions are. I am not making excuses for anything. If the man is suffering because how society conditioned him to react, I had a modicum of sympathy for him.
I was raised catholic. Hate the sin, love the sinner. In spite of becoming an atheist certain things stuck with hard.
Theocrats don’t deserve compassion. They demand subjugation of entire populations to their subjective experience of what they deem as the divine. And for some, the divine is merely an excuse to indulge in anti-social behavior. So, it’s not safe nor logical for LGBT folks, or really anyone, to play the warm fuzzy game with these kinds of people. The absolute best you can do is not interact with these people. If they’re willfully ignorant then they won’t respond well to any attempts to dispel their ignorance. If anything, they’ll be more likely to become physically violent and result in the harm of such people including yourself. This isn’t me being mean to these people, it’s me being practical with them. You wouldn’t swim with sharks untrained and unprotected right? But you’d be fine with hanging out with a fellow human animal that can think of several ways to kill you while enjoying it? I think you really need to reconsider your ideological stances on how to deal with bigots and fascists.
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I’m telling you how your statements are coming across.
So if you meet me
Have some courtesy
Have some sympathy, and some taste
Use all your well-learned politnesse
Or I’ll lay your soul to wastePleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name,
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Weird how that ‘compassion’ only ever seems to get extended to the dominant group, and never anyone else…
Call to religious authority?
That holds no weight here, especially given that many religious types often say one thing and do the exact opposite in practice.
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Not when they are actively creating harm, up to and including the deaths of other people.
Somehow the posters here who prioritize feeling sympathy for their victims are the ones who aren’t compassionate enough?
Yeah, no.
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What stuck with me was that those words were often a cover for the psychological abuse of queer Christians. They were only belittling me and telling us that I would go to hell because they loved us. Conversion therapy is for our own good. Maybe we aren’t praying hard enough for the strength to become cis-het?
Saying ‘Hate the sin, love the sinner’ does you no favours, especially on this particular topic. I am usually supportive towards religious people, but I will never be on this. I experienced too much pain and suffering for that.
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Everyone I’ve ever met or seen who says “hate the sin, love the sinner,” is pretty enthusiastic about the first part. The second part? Not really.
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