Russia prison chief reassures inmates yoga won't make them gay

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2019/04/08/russia-prison-chief-reassures.html

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No but it will make hipsters out of them.

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Yeah, but if yoga did make you gay, at least it would dramatically cut your risk of getting cooties from girls.

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I wish I could catch the “gays” from my yoga mat.

note sadly the sarcasm

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After several decades of state-sanctioned homophobia, I’m not remotely surprised by this.

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Odd, dudes here do yoga for the chicks.

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Translation: Theological professor Alexander Dvorkin saw prisoners doing yoga and was sexually aroused. Being religious and having no real understanding of human sexuality, he is ill equipped to deal with these feelings and seeks to end prison yoga rather than deal with his own issues…

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d340db8be957631cbb238fb4e4e10155

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I did hatha yoga in college, and years later came out as bi. Correlation, or causation???

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I thought it was Obamacare that made you gay.

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Sadly, it will be years later that Dvorkin will realize that it was not in fact the yoga that aroused such shameful feelings in him. It was the whole act of locking men up together in such close quarters, prisons, that did.

But, alas, it was too late, he had lost the ear of the party, shunned by the men he admired. No one would listen to his ideas on the evil gayness of the industrial prison complex. He did the only thing a good Christian (Orthodox? what me read the story??) could do, he spent his last few rubles on a loudspeaker and an over-sized poster. Now he can be seen strolling through red square waving a giant tattered poster of a group of shirtless prison inmates and yelling something unintelligible into a fanny pack speaker phone that has the karaoke mode still set to 11.

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Yoga makes you gay? How absurd! Here in America we know better. Here the fight to ban yoga is because it makes you Hindu.

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Typo.


While I agree with the conclusion that a person is born gay, and not made gay, I would argue that yoga in prison could lead to heteroflexibility.

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I am going with… neither?

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Eh… fuck biological determinism, yo! Nice way to invalidate the experiences of individuals whose sexual orientations shift over the life time.

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In Russia, yoga does you!

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I thought it was the hot yoga that made you gay? Regular yoga was ok?

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and if we end up discovering that that is determined by the person’s DNA as well…

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Funny story. A near-sighted friend of ours was deeply into yoga for years. Then he got Lasek surgery. He was suddenly introduced to dozens of distractions he had never encountered before.

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When reading your reply, my initial feeling was that you’ve attacked me unprovoked from left field. I wasn’t invalidating shit; and NOTHING makes me angrier than someone else telling me what I mean by something. So I’m still pissed off as I write this. I’ll try to remain civil.

Are you saying sexual orientation is a choice? Nothing to do with genetic predisposition one way or another? If so, you’re in great company with all of the “gay rehabilitation” folks.

From my experience, a person’s sexual orientation is a spectrum that can shift over time, with each individual’s spectrum range being unique to themselves. Some can travel all over the place, while others might never shift at all.

Participating in yoga won’t create a desire that’s not already there. Yoga won’t make you gay.

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