Russian man crashes armored personnel carrier into shop to steal booze


#1

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2018/01/11/russian-man-crashes-armored-pe.html


#2

It least it was a Daewoo and not a Mini.


#3

It was armoured, but not armed; light-weight.


#4

I don’t understand how you can have trouble turning a tracked vehicle like that. You can literally turn on a dime by pivoting them on the spot running the tracks in opposition.


#5

I think Russian Man might be Florida Man’s distant cousin.


#6

This is something like the most stereotypically Russian news story ever. If only he’d stolen a bottle of vodka instead…


#7

Most tracked vehicles can’t “pirouette”, driving the two tracks in opposite directions.

Their usual best turning radius is achieved by stopping one track and driving the other.

The dude still should have been able to get away, of course. Very bad form.


#8

We’re head for a cashless society. Turning on a dime isn’t possible in that type of society.


#9

How do you say, “Woulda got away with it if it weren’t for those meddling kids!” in Russian?

BONUS: One day the President of the United States is going to tell us!


#11

And if it involved a bear somehow.


#12

“Если бы это было не для тех, кто мешает детям!” (“Yesli by eto bylo ne dlya tekh, kto meshayet detyam!”), apparently.


#13

Russia has two major social problems : alcoholism and armored vehicles. They ought to solve at least one of them.


#14

Ever since I saw Jackie Chan’s Mr Nice Guy, stories like this leave me feeling vaguely disappointed because the vehicles used are always so small and pedestrian. Drunk russian men really need to up their game, if you ask me.


#15

I feel bad for the owner of the Daewoo. I mean, you live in Murmansk, and you can only afford a Daewoo, and then somebody comes and crushes it. Hope it was insured.


#16

Vodka, Comrade, Vodka.


#17

Or “Drive it like a rental


#18

Way to fight the stereotype comrade.


#19

What an embarrassment. “Grabbed a bottle of wine”? I bet it was Blue Nun too.


#20

The headline should read “Russian gentleman,” no?


#21

And some not even that. My understanding is that the US M3 light tank was only capable of turning in a small circle