Say hello to the world's first smart salt lamp

Aye, I appreciate bandwidth and hosting aren’t free and BoingBoing has to keep the lights on. But Jesus, considering the amount of articles on BB criticizing pseudoscience, to be slinging crap like this should be embarrassing.

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You wanna be on The List? Then it’s no list for you.

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Hey BoingBoing, some arsehole seems to have logged into your creation page and is posting pseudoscientific adverts.

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Do I get smarter if I lick the salt panel? Do the the different colours change this in any way?

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Hey @doctorow maybe this is just the thing to follow-up that goop coffee enema post?

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Wow, did they really post one of those?

I keep seeing “purest salt ever” claims on Himalayan pink salt.

Pure salt is white. Himalayan pink salt is impure because it is tainted with chromium or manganese.

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Not on the BB store, just an article about the goop offering.

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If I wanted an ominously glowing, possibly sentient cube in my house I’d just get a tesseract.

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Sure why not? It’ll also make you last longer at sex and grow back a full head of hair.

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Boing Boing,

  • How does the lamp literally improve the atmosphere of my abode?

  • How does it deodorize? Where do the odor go? Is it changed to another oder?

  • How does it purify the air?

  • Does it really ballance oxygen? Does it use an equation? Does it balance O₂ or will it ballance any oxygen in any molecule? Does it have tips on stoichiometry?

  • Is it like the device in the movie Explorers with Ethan Hawke, River Phoenix, Jason Presson, etc… and create Oxygen? If I am in an enclosed vacuum, will it produce oxygen, “balancing oxygen and y̶o̶u̶r̶[my] health simultaneously” thus keeping me alive? Can it protect me from carbon monoxide?

  • Is there an equation to balance my health? Does the smart lamp use it? If so, is the lamp HIPAA compliant?

  • How does it release negative ions?

  • Are negative ions a positive thing to have in one’s abode?

  • How do negative ions enhance my mood?

  • If my mood is poor, will it enhance it to the point where it is unbearably bad?

  • Will the WiFi waves counteract the positive effects of this ion producing mood altering salt lamp?

  • Does the lamp have to be on to produce positive effects on my mood or to energize my mind?

  • How does it “reduce radiation”? If it does, what kind of radiation? Should I be worried about this radiation? Can it reduce radiation to the point where it emits dark or anti-radiation radiation? If so, do physicists know about this frequency specific dark emitting lamp?

  • Is the salt smart? Is the lamp smart? Is it aware of its surroundings? Does it scream when I unplug it? If it is smart, is it alive? If it is alive, would owning one be akin to being a slave owner? Or, does “smart” mean it is controlled by and app via the Internet and a wireless network?

  • Lastly, and most importantly, as BoingBoing has warned about the IOT (Internet Of Things) and about poor security on “smart” devices, what third party certifications does this device have showing that it is safe and unlikely to be taken over by somebody else without the users knowledge? Do you trust this product not to become a bot? If so, why?

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Negative ions have been causally linked to lung cancer.

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a himalayan salt lamp? :thinking:

This is a good point: if I put this lamp by my apartment’s wall, will it block my neighbor’s wifi, thereby giving me a better signal in my apartment?

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Hey, slight derail: does any smart bulb offer a Himalayan salt lamp color?

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Yeah F this blog I’ve been reading for a decade but seriously what they won’t do for a buck.

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I swear, Detroit is leaving some good money on the table on this one: “400 million years-old Devonian mineral salt from the deep antediluvian Detroit Salt Mines, positioned at the intersection of significant lines, first discovered by Native American medicine men”.

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Ask a cow, i bet they could get to the bottom of it

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Salt lamps are fun. They absorb water from the surrounding air, heat it up, melt all over your table top, and force you to refinish your furniture. Fun!

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