"Soaked," "sinful," and "yum-a-licious": here are Cheesecake Factory's 42 approved adjectives

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Originally published at: "Soaked," "sinful," and "yum-a-licious": here are Cheesecake Factory's 42 approved adjectives | Boing Boing

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They are missing a word… something that describes a state of not-dryness… I can’t quite remember it though.

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They left out m​o​i​s​t, predictably.

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This tempts me to list the non-approved adjectives…
Sweaty
Rancid
Chalky
…

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Legend tells of a dessert that used all 42 descriptors. It took five whole minutes just to place the order, and it had so many calories that many who managed to finish it in 30 minutes simply burst into flames. 4/5, would order again.

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giphy (29)

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What, no “sploosh“?

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same, like what are the worst evocative words to associate with cheesecake…

… glabrous, turgid, clabbered, mundane…

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Well ma’am, today’s cheesecake of the day is gelatinous, malodorous, putresecent, and fibrous. In other words, it’s not exactly cromulent.

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Many of these words become dramatically less appetising if they get too close to the word “panties”

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walgreens used to sell a brazil nut that was caramelised…
and was…delicious

de-lish

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I like cheesecake, but there should be some truth in advertising.

Lactose
Cardiac
Arteries
Thighs

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I’ve never been impressed with cheesecake. “Blah” is the word I use to describe most cheesecake. If you need a ton of toppings and add-ins to make it taste “yum-a-licious” is the base really that good?

In a way I guess it’s like ice cream. No one makes plain ice cream, even as good as vanilla can be, a hot fudge sundae still makes it better.

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Sweet cream ice cream is (was?) somewhat of a thing when I was growing up in the NE USA. Most of the little micro-creameries had it available year round. It was delicious on its own, but served with a good quality hot fudge sauce…drooooool.

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Panna Cotta is kinda just that I think… I don’t know how popular it is though.

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So the ultimate question of the universe that the Earth was created to discover was …
how many adjectives does the Cheesecake Factory allow?

probably just as well the Vogons destroyed it before we found out

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clogging
cloying
glutinous
lumpen
(the m-word)
sickly
stolid
synthetic

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Panna cotta is cream set with gelatine.

Delightful stuff.

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tv7i02g2kajw

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Full chocolatey… panties.

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