Someone invented a "Safe Space Desk” for school shootings

Actual, real life scenario: The shooter pulls fire alarm. Students exit classrooms to head for hallways. Shooter then commences massacre.


The official gofundme is off to a roaring start

If they keep up this pace they’ll hit their goal in about 500 years


Kinda like… most gun owners?


Maybe getting everyone in Mississippi some decent health care–including mental health care–would obviate the perceived need for “Safe Space Desks” in the first place.

ETA: @Grey_Devil called it, upthread! beat me to it!
ETA2: typo


You forgot bulletproof hoodies.

A teacher friend says their policy is to ignore fire alarms because it’s a common tactic to get shooters to empty classrooms. They wait for verbal confirmation from the front office over the PA before evacuating. Horrified, I went to see how often school fires cause deaths and the most recent one I remember finding was around 1958.


I was looking forward to one of the guys getting into that desk “safe space”, closing the door, then the other guy pulls out his AR15 and pumps a few rounds into it from 20 feet away. Nope. I didn’t even see them shoot it with nobody in there.

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Yep. Most republican voters are loaded, because the brunt of GOP voter suppression targets the poor as a proxy for racial and ethnic minorities.

If republicans could have their way only white people and only rich white people would even be allowed to vote. Because republicans don’t even have a passing flirt with belief in democracy. All they believe in is power.


So both rich and poor people should probably have less access to guns.

Gotta say, in places where guns are actually difficult to get and massively expensive, there’s a real dearth of people going out and shooting into crowds.

It happens even less often if you look at places where it’s really hard to get ammo too.


While you’re at it, why not just make Tony Stark “Iron Man”-type suits mandatory as part of the dress code?

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The next time a school shooter attacks a bunch of kids in a school equipped with these desks, they’ll think twice before using bowling balls.

Problem solved?


Wouldn’t it be cheaper to just retrofit classrooms with armor-plated doors?


Even if that became nationwide policy the shooters could still just wait until recess or lunch period or end-of-school dismissal to get the same result. I don’t know if the people selling this stuff are grifters or true believers or some combination of the two but one thing most of them have in common is that their anti-school-shooting gear is unlikely to be effective in a real-world massacre.


The video shows the desks being bolted to the ground. That’s gonna be fun for the custodian who has to strip and wax the floors.


This is one of those things where I am both horrified but also respect the inventor.
The inventor doesn’t have the means to change gun policies and laws beyond lobbying and voting (which frankly, appears to have little effect in many areas of the US)
So he created a solution.
It’s “Hierarchy of control”
Prevention is always #1 on that list. But you don’t stop there if you can’t prevent. You move down the list.
Lockdown is a “policy” based.
But this is on the level of PPE.
It’s better than policy. But not as good as prevention.
I suppose I can look at this in a detached fashion because I’m not American. So this is kind of alien and I can step back and look at it in a different view.
But dammit. You guys. I wish your government would take prevention seriously.

This is somehow the simplest and most logical solution to the issue of school shootings… according to the Onion?

Wait, this is real?!


Clearly does not work, they never shot it, if it where any where but America and you claimed to me that you tested your bullet proof desk with a bowling ball instead of a gun, i would be like ok they prob dont have guns, but not even footage of the bowling ball hitting it, but in the states, there are more guns than sane people so why not just shoot it on camera, apart from the fact it looks like 1mm steel…

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So now, we’ll have school bombings?



I think it’s a gun owner’s mindset thing. They think of themselves as plucky individualists who would take the initiative in a crisis situation like the heroes in all their favourite movies and action news reports.

That’s why they own guns to protect themselves from crimes rather than funding community policing and mental health care. And that’s why their solution to a problem like school shootings is to support other plucky individualists with taking the initiative once the crisis is there rather than trying to avert the crisis in the first place.

Effectiveness doesn’t really play a role in that equation because what this is really about is daydreams about being the hero for once and in daydreams their solutions work.