Ted Cruz jokes about killing Donald Trump

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I noticed that the orange man was entirely missing from the headlines this past few days, so he said something headline-worthy today, then recanted it, just to demonstrate his ability to be deserving of Cruzā€™ murder joke.

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i swear, wtf is going on with this yearā€™s election?? that a candidate of either party can say such a thingā€¦ i justā€¦

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The horrible thing is that Cruz sounds so rational saying it.

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Iā€™m a human, and I approved this message.

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This is nothing compared with former presidents, like Andrew Jacksonā€¦ Although he said some smart things too. And was very self aware:

On running for president

"Do they think that I am such a damned fool to think myself fit for President of the United States? No, sir; I know what I am fit for. I can command a body of men in a rough way, but I am not fit to be President."
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Man Kimmel seems to get the dumbest things said on his show. Must be a talent.

Toxic. Both of them. I also think thatā€™s the only way Cruz is going to win this.

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Itā€™s only fair: this proposal is so rational compared to most of what he has in mind. Faint praise, yes; but true.

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Iā€™m not sure what papers youā€™re reading, but his one-day abortion policy brain fart was all over the news.

In summary, within a three-hour period yesterday, he declared:
ā€¢ As president, heā€™ll make abortions illegal, and if a woman gets one, sheā€™ll have to be ā€œpunishedā€.
ā€¢ Uh, actually, he meant that heā€™s not sure. And that itā€™s up to the states.
ā€¢ No, actually he would punish doctors who give abortions, because women are victims.

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You must tie her up and give her a good spanking!

Iā€™m KIDDING. Kidding, people. Just joking around- you know? Like people do?
KIdding.
Itā€™d be a terrible thing.
Just terrible.
A real shame.
A shame if someone took this JOKE I made and somehow managed to take it literally andā€¦ terrible. Just terrible.

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Let Cruz flatten tRump, then weā€™d have an excuse to lock Cruz away in some out of the way place.

Two for the price of one.

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My favorite part was the little sub-headline where Carson attempted to defend Drumpf, saying that ā€œhe didnā€™t have time to prepare for the question.ā€

Really, Donald? Your whole miserable life up to this point isnā€™t enough time to form a genuine opinion on abortion?

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I may be way off base here, but my vague understanding is that backed-over-by-car wasnā€™t the Zodiacā€™s M.O.

I should really stop looking at Tumblrā€¦

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And then thereā€™s Anderson Cooper telling him to his face that heā€™s acting like a child:

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Well thank goodness Ted Cruz is sticking to his promise not to sink to Trumpā€™s level.

Of course he was already there to begin with, butā€¦

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So, arenā€™t the Secret Service supposed to aggressively track down people who joke about killing the president and interrogate them? I thought that joking about killing the president was actually a crime, too.

Sad? Fun, Iā€™d say. :smiley:

There has to be a tshirt:

So many presidents.
So few grassy knolls.

ā€¦thoughtā€¦ what about turning the primaries into a lethal capture-the-flag contest? Each candidate could hire assassin teams, and the one who survives last gets to have a chance to be elected?

ā€¦paging Hollywoodā€¦

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