Ted Cruz on Trump: "I have no desire to copulate with him"


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Why do I get the feeling that a physical fight between them would resemble 8 year olds in a slapfight.


And one of these two sad excuses for humans will get 40-50% of the vote to become de facto leader of the free world.


It takes spectacular verbal gymnastics to accidentally call yourself a ratfucker when you are trying to call someone else a ratfucker


unicorn chaser, please!


Well I for one am glad we got that out of the way.


Bad form, Teddy. I’m no politician, but I really think one should wait to be elected before practicing one’s State of the Union address.


Methinks he doth protest too much. I mean why would you even bring that up. Now all anyone will be able to think about when they see the debate is Cruz and Trump getting down with some steamy man-on-man action, while Kasich looks on, aghast and bewildered at this nightmare alternate reality that he’s found himself thrust into.


It depends on what you are drinking. A lot of shots go down well with a unicorn.





“I have no desire to copulate with him.

“I mean, no more than I have with any other man. Or woman.

“I mean, I don’t spend hours awake in bed wishing I could caress every last hunky inch of him.

“Nothing like that.”


He lost the argument in so many ways, it’s hard to know where to start.

He talks obliquely about ratfucking as if it is common knowledge. He shows he knows way too much about this ratfucking and that he is, most likely, a ratfucker.

This is his latent guilt showing. He completely got away with his prior ratfucking (spreading false rumors on the day of the Iowa Caucus that Ben Carson had pulled out). And now his ratfucking chickens are coming home to psychologically roost.


The next GOP debate should be, “Who can ultimately wrest control of this raquetball?”

~throws ball really hard on the floor of the stage~


Hey, can’t a guy express his copulation preferences without being picked on? Besides, he never really said he wouldn’t copulate with a rat, only that he wouldn’t copulate with Trump. Copulating with a rat would probably be easier from a scheduling point of view, but I don’t know if it’s physically possible. How big are Cruz’s hands?

Edit: Fixed typo.


Bigger than Trump’s, presumably.


I bet Ted (s)Cruz never thought he’d utter the line “Donald Trump may be a rat, but I have no desire to copulate with him” and is horrified (one would hope) that this election has come to that. Just like we all are.


Is ratfucking even a thing? How would one actually fuck a rat without having tiny, rat-sized genitals?



has anyone asked Donald Trump?


What??? I beg your pardon?!? I know of no rats who would be at all interested in either part of that!

Ted’s alleged mistresses, that’s another story. :slight_smile:


Ahem. I will not stoop to that level of discourse, but I assure you, this RatMan’s equipment is adequate to the task at hand. Indeed, by Trumpian standards, I believe that said equipment is presidential material. Provenance: I have six-and-a-third kids.

And before you ask, my hands are freakishly large, too.