Well, since you asked…
Duct tape is involved.
4 Likes
all i can picture is both of them in opposite corners of a dark room watching dozens of rats injected with rodent viagra going at it in a pit, their disgusting smiles of delight barely visible in the candle light.
11 Likes
You could sense the romantic tension in those debates, this is just another step the the will-they/won’t-they drama, Cruz playing hard to get. Act three is the resolution where they finally get together in a torrid Cruz-Trump embrace, and in his arms, Ted’s admits to Donald that he’s going to switch positions on gay marriage when his own is on the line, provided they switch posi… Jesus H., the joke’s turned into Trump/Cruz slash fic. Sorry.
3 Likes
hmm, nope. still getting a visual image of cruz & trump. SOMETHING STRONGER, STAT!
1 Like
I see what you did there… 
5 Likes
Thanks BoingBoing, reading this has caused my libido to dry up and blow away, tumbleweed style. I hope it comes back eventually, once I’ve been able to extract this all from my brain.
Except, @RatMan made me LOL, so I’ll be OK.
9 Likes
Why did I search for Cruz/Trump slash fic? Why???
29 Likes
Ted doth protest too much.
Also… I bet that sounded really clever and funny in Ted’s head, which is scary.
7 Likes
ooh, that’s good. definitely a bit better now, thanks.
4 Likes
Hey, you don’t know every rat. The heart wants what the heart wants, man. The state has no business in the dumpsters of the nation.
2 Likes
3 Likes
Too much rape. (canola)
2 Likes
I know, right? I mean, there are a lot of animals that are (comparitively) regularly used with “fucker” or “fucking” as insults, but I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone actually say “ratfucker.” I mean, maybe it’s a Texas thing or something. The kids in southpark call each other “pigfucker” all the time, and there are plenty of versions with specific animals used as racist slurs, but I don’t think “ratfucker” is really part of the vernacular.
1 Like
Cruz was making a (typically clumsy) reference to dirty political tricks. http://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Ratfucking
10 Likes
You are, of course, correct. But no rats I know, and I know many.
#NotAllRats
3 Likes
That’s easy to say from your little bubble of cis- (and probably albino) rat privilege.
6 Likes
One reason I am glad I don’t watch enough TV is that I get to live with the persistent illusion that whenever Cruz says anything, his voice in my head sounds like he does in all the Bad Lipreading videos.
Ditto that for Ben Carson, may he rest in peace.
3 Likes
Reassuring. I’m glad to know this so I can check off yet another box on my personal candidate evaluation form.
…My vote demands very particular requirements.
3 Likes
