Ted Cruz lays out the scenario for Texas to secede from the United States and appoint Joe Rogan president

Originally published at: Ted Cruz lays out the scenario for Texas to secede from the United States and appoint Joe Rogan president | Boing Boing

8 Likes

I’m willing to take that risk.

87 Likes

I’m all for these triggers he lays out, but what’s a good-faith argument against DC statehood? (maybe I’m asking for too much?) For over 20 years, their default license plate says, “TAXATION WITHOUT REPRESENTATION.”

39 Likes

rogan

52 Likes

This is pretty typical rhetoric in Texas.

The state school system goes to great lengths to promote Texas’ independence and history by requiring education of all school children with the fact that Texas was once an independent country and that it has the right to secede written into the state constitution.

Another fun fact: Texas state flag is the only flag that is allowed to fly at the same height as the US flag.

Other stupid trivia like that gets thrown around so much that people there believe they are special.

I Cant Remember Pee Wee GIF

50 Likes

I imagine it’s the same as the argument against Puerto Rico becoming a state (assuming a majority of residents want their district/territory to become a state): too many brown voters for comfort.

46 Likes

OH my god I really am that old. My brain didn’t really connect that he was the same guy from Fear Factor til I saw this.

TBH when I see his name now all I can think about is that sky writer that said he was 5’ 3" (which he isn’t but for some reason someone using a plane to write that is hilarious to me).

24 Likes

If Ted Cruz doesn’t like it here, he can go back to Canada.

55 Likes

Right, and that’s the actual reason, but they can’t say that, can they? They’ve got to make up a bunch of bullshit “legitimate” reasons that all sound completely ridiculous (like “DC doesn’t have enough car dealerships”), but aren’t the actual reasons of “too many browns voting”, or “DC is too Democrat for our liking”.

27 Likes

Not Cancun?

14 Likes

I wonder if Texas will have some kind of Fear Factor contest to see who gets to become “president.”

“It is hereby decreed-- by law, in order to become president of Texas one must lie in a glass coffin filled with bugs, suspended 200 feet in the air, while eating a plate of bull testicles.”

15 Likes

That’s going to be a hard no there. He’s your problem now, we don’t want him back.

35 Likes

Granting statehood has always been political. It’s the only reason why we have both a North and South Dakota in the first place.

15 Likes

As if we needed more evidence that the Tedo’Cruz is a loathsome asshole.

21 Likes

I had to do an errand after the game last night and flipping through the radio there was some talk show with a guy talking about a movement for eastern Oregon, which is mostly rural, to leave Oregon and meld into Idaho. :confused:

4 Likes

NetFlix here comes Texass.

8 Likes

You know, the actual expensive infrastructure to launch rockets is in Florida. Long term, it would be easier for NASA to create a new mission control where the rockets go up than to maintain mission control in a foreign country. The biggest problem with casting Texas out of the union is that suddenly our Southern border would be MUCH longer and the problem of keeping poor foreigners out that much more difficult.

23 Likes

Or a Squid Game contest. “Give me presidency or give me death!”

8 Likes

Yeah, unlike Andrew Scheer, he actually canceled his extra citizenship.

7 Likes

If Republicans weren’t so damn racist then an overwhelmingly Christian, generally anti-abortion, culturally conservative place like Puerto Rico would be a natural political ally. But of course the GOP can’t help themselves even when their political future depends on it.

34 Likes