Ted Cruz quits Republican race; Trump is presumptive nominee

boing
101

Comedy gold and the end of times all wrapped with a nice bow.

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102

So, which is more emasculating, to have no thumbs or teeny, tiny fingers?

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103

Iā€™m picturing Trump as The Joker, really.

I also left out the bit where Bernie has been pointing out the upcoming curve on the map for the last several miles and nobody has been listening to him until now.

Or:

Cruz: (L)awful Evil
Trump: Chaotic Evil
Clinton: Lawful Neutral
Bernie: Neutral Good

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104

Agreed. I donā€™t think Trump is going to want to do anything to draw attention away from himself. He knows that heā€™s his own key asset, and unless he chooses his son or makes a Trump clone-bot, I canā€™t imagine that heā€™d want to share the spotlight with anyone well-known.

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105

Re: hijacking ctrl-f. Really freaking annoying HOWEVER the way the site loads, browser-search only will find anything on the current screen, NOT the whole page.

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106

I hadnā€™t even thought of that one!! Thatā€™s brilliant. Iā€™m now officially suspicious that heā€™s discussing or thinking about naming his son, even if he ultimately doesnā€™t say it publicly.

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107

Nice trolling.

108

Isnā€™t The Onion supposed to be fake news?

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109

The other one hits on his children.

ā€œā€œTime will tellā€ if my one year old daughter Tiffany Trump will grow out a rack as hot as that of my legally-wedded broad, Marla Maples. She already has her motherā€™s sexy legs, though.ā€
Trump

Donā€™t know whatā€™s worse

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110

Kasich just quit.

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111

i was kind of hoping heā€™d stay in as a more rational option for the republicans, but now, dang. stick a fork in the GOP, itā€™s dead, jim. iā€™m just glad that hillary beats trump in national polls. not as much as bernie would, but still. i just canā€™t imagine that people, when in the voting booth, will actually vote for trump.

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112

The Republican Party has spoken: Donald Trump is the best person to lead the United States of America.

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113

And nowā€¦

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114

I wouldnā€™t put it past him to to pick a sex doll as a running mate. Heā€™d announce it like: Someone told me I have to have a chick as a running mate. And then heā€™d pull it out of a briefcase (do people still own brief cases) and he would inflate her on live TV. Then make several misogynistic jokes to a standing applause from the mouth breathers.

115

And then there was oneā€¦

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116

Ah give the guy a break. Heā€™s still acclimating to his hu-man skin.

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117

Yeah, I hear those inquisitions in Texas are brutal.

118

So, dumb question: what happens now that thereā€™s only one candidate? Do they keep holding primaries anyway just for fun, to let people write in candidates or vote for Vermin Supreme?

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119

And whether of not they keep holding primaries, do folks in the remaining states have a valid complaint that they had absolutely no say in candidate selection?

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120

Packing material for the move north.

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