Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2024/06/12/tesla-cybertruck-police-vehicle-revealed.html
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I wonder how easy it will be to damage, given all the complaints I’ve heard about the original edition of the wankpanzer…
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Great, now all the criminals have to do is drive through a car wash to lose the cops like driving through a paint shop in a video game 
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Probably very easy! It’s dystopian, yet also crap!
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Well, that answers the unasked question, “How could the Cyber Truck look any more offensive?”
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“American engineered, for American Hero’s” [sic]
Yep, that’s exactly the sort of outfit I’d expect to be turning cybertrucks into cop (and “cop”) cars.
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y’know the old Bugs Bunny (“Bugs’ Bonnets” c1956) episode where the thesis was that the attire one wore caused that personality to be accepted? Well, add lots of super dark storm-trooper military garb/appurtenances to someone who actually sought to do police work and…
(“Dall-E make an image comparison illustration of Star Wars dark troopers and any recent line of riot police”)
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Cop to tow truck driver: “No, wait, that’s the police vehicle. The pileup’s over there.”
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Except that the Humvee (not the commercial Hummer) is a profoundly useful and dynamic vehicle that has proven itself well over 40 years of military service. I was always amazed at the situations they handled without a sign of struggle (steep pitches, deep fording). In fact the only place they did struggle was driving on a paved surface at highway speeds. Next time you see a National Guard convoy on the highway tip your hat because that is the most miserable, deafening, rattly trip ever.
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Omni Consumer Products?
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As if police departments didn’t have enough things to waste cash on.
My local PD used to (might still, haven’t announced in a while) used cars seized in major crimes and not retrieved as cop cars. Since my quiet little town at one point had a few quite profitable drug growers, there are several tricked out Mustangs and other muscle-type cars that they added to the fleet with almost no cost. They used to show them off at the annual police auction, which I greatly miss (all online now).
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I mean, if cops want to drive Cybertrucks, I have no problem with them embracing their death wishes…
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Or do your crimes on a day when it’s pissing rain.
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“It’s no use Dom, the Cyber Cop’s still on our tail!”
“Don’t worry, I know a trick.” (down shifts, does two 90 degree turns and goes through a car wash.)
Dom’s car bursts through the other end and continues on their way. Cybertruck is stopped in the middle of the wash. Camera zooms to control screen with a sad Elon face and a word bubble “Water detected, warranty voided.”
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The problem is, while the Cybertruck brings an elevated risk of injury to the driver/occupants, the risk of death is applied to everyone in front of it.
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They need to make a more angular ED-209.
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I can only assume they are hoping the bad guys will stop to have a good laugh.
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Great. Taxpayers have so far indirectly supported Musk’s businesses to the tune of at least $5B. Now he wants to tap directly into municipalities via cop cars. Just fucking great.
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Or plan your getaway route with a stretch on the beach.
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