That time the Bionic man, Bionic woman and Sasquatch threw the ring into Mount Doom

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2019/01/04/that-time-the-bionic-man-bion.html

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Middle school catbus always wondered what bionic baby outcome would be like

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So…you’re saying I’m old… :disappointed:

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If you’re in Portland on Wednesday, January 10th, The Hollywood Theatre will be showing this on the bid screen.

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apparently one does just walk in to Mordor.

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yeah if you’re faster and stronger than everyone trying to keep you out why not?

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They’re not doing anything particularly …bionic… are they?

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Bionic throw not strong enough, needs Sasquatch toss.

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This gets the biggest WTF / LOL of 2019 yet.

When the Sci-Fi channel first came out, my roommates and I immediately decided it was time to spring for cable TV, just so we could watch Bionic Man and the upcoming Godzilla marathon. This clip perfectly illustrates why we were disappointed-- five minutes of slow motion running and beating-a-dead-horse melodrama.

So much for nostalgia, you really can’t go home again.

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You have to turn up the volume to hear the sound effect. Although I don’t remember Sasquatch being bionic, too.

Also, I’m sorry to say that Steve Austin is not pulling off that 'stache.

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Kind of looks like Sasquatch is dying as Steve Austin and Jaime Sommers are smiling to each other. :-/

Back when this aired, I had no idea who Andre the Giant was. I was surprised to find out later that this was one of his first roles.

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I am unable to find an English-language version of this, but here’s Benny Hill:

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Hey look! Sandy Duncan and Gene Shalit are both in this one!

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Better… you forgot better.

If they weren’t Bionic I’m guessing this clip would have been about 30 seconds long.

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Whats not to love?
The stock footage, the costumes (dear god, the costumes!), the surplus death star viewscreen that is connected to a camera that mysteriously follows our heroes, the hammy acting, the porntacular music.
This is a piece of art!

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Was gonna say that 'stache is definitely not bionically enhanced beyond a normal Boston-Blackie level.

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