I am uncontrovertible proof that it is possible to peak very early on Malted Milk Balls. I thought they were pure ambrosia back in the 7th grade, and spent my lawn mowing earnings on a half-gallon sized carton of them. Then I proceeded to eat about two-thirds of them in the course of one Saturday afternoon.
Soon after that, my entire digestive tract went into a red alert status, and began exacting revenge upon that part of my brain that suffered from poor impulse control. And, well, all of the other parts⊠By the time the whole physiological tumult progressed to completion, I was through with marble-sized chocolate crunch pellets FOR EVER.
And at that point in my life, I had never heard of âA Clockwork Orangeâ. I had a vague understanding of âWilly Wonkaâ though 
It always strikes me as weird that the âanonymousâ brown blobs in black and orange wrappers always score lower than Mary JanesâŠwhen they ARE Mary Janes. And theyâre not bad at all. Certainly better than candy corn or anything Herseyâs craps out.
We gotta know⊠which end suffered the worst in the Brown Malted Milk Revolt?
I am not entirely certain⊠but I suspect I could eat a whole half-gallon carton of those in a long afternoon.
Naaa I blew about $40
D-d-dad?
I am the freak from north virginia (dc actually) who eats their apples north->south. if I cant rip the stem out I go aussie, unless i have another apple on hand with a loose stem. the seeds add flavor, and you get bigger chunks of crisp apple meat.
OH MY ANTICHRIST! How is carob chocolate not listed!?! Iâm still trying get the taste of that nasty-ass hippie wanna bee chocolate out of my mouth hole from when all 70s parents were trying to pawn it off as an âalternative.â To what? The desire to live?
IâŠI almost want some candy corn now.
But it will have to wait until after the FULL SIZED BIT-O-HONEY bar and a handful of Mary Janes.
And since Iâm going out, a bag of chik-o-stix as well.
Now 'n Laters were my jam in junior high, especially the green apple flavor. Eating in class was verboten, but if you were sly you could get away with having a Now 'n Later stuck to the roof of your mouth for the better part of the hour . . . as long as the teacher didnât notice your tongue was green. I feel a powerful need to get to a 7-Eleven now.
Uh, because hard candy sucks? Halloween isnât about patience or savoring. Itâs about loot and stuffing your gob!
Kinda thought that was itâs job. 'Cept when you crunch those suckers up like youâre a rock monster chomping down on a bag of gravel. 
Because theyâre an easter candy? So if youâre getting them in October is weird and gross. I mean theyâre weird and gross anyway, but come on.
Also Iâd kill a man for a Twirl right now.
I donât know if its hate for Kit Kat. Just a long running rivalry in these polls between Kit Kat and peanut butter cups. The peanut butter usually wins, so this is a first for Kit Kat.
Iâm Team Kit Kat, and yours kick the shit out of ours. As with most things of British/Irish origin now controlled by Hershey.
You take that back!
If theyâre easter sweets then why they in here in the first place? Such a thing makes a mockery of this whole study. I demand a peer review.
Nestle.
You are the Official Winner of Halloween, nungesser.
âwith the exception of the United States where it is made under license by H.B. Reese Candy Companyâ
Which is wholly owned by Hershey. You can watch a dude dressed as a Kit Kat dance around in Hershey Park.
Weirdly inside the US Nestleâs chocolate (outside of a handful of items) is far, far worse than Hersheyâs. But outside the US, because Hersheyâs is shit chocolate even here Nestle products are awesome.
Iâm sorry. The thin shell of quality Cadburyâs chocolate encompassing sugared ejaculate is the best candy ever. And the recent change from actual Euro made Dairy milk to regionally manufactured Hersheyâs shit grade Cadburyâs chocolate didnât at all ruin the one good thing about them. And it certainly didnât destroy the only nationally distributed venue I had for getting a childhood favorite (outside of visiting family) by altering the Cadburyâs Caramel egg. No SIR. EVERYTHING IS FINE.
Ahhh so youâre coming at this post-creme egg-gate? I get ya. As you were. Did i notice the quality of chocolate dramatically changed? Iâm not entirely sure. Maybe. Theyâve definitely gotten smaller.
It got worse. But it wasnât any good to start with. Cadbury is only good in comparison to Hershey.
Well yeah, this isnât a hierarchy for fancy artisan chocolate afterall but they shouldnât even be in the same layer. No? Admittedly iâve never tried hershey but iâve yet to see anyone anywhere admit to liking it.
