The only man to never have seen a woman

boing
23

I think he was reincarnated to write Hollywood movie scripts.

4 Likes
24

What did he think about when he masturbated?

5 Likes
25

Jesus.

5 Likes
26

Um, probably the same thing he thought about when he had sex? I.e., other monks?

5 Likes
27

If he was heterosexual, probably exactly the same type of non-reality based female construct many (if not most) men masturbate to.

1 Like
28

Or you know, maybe just get women to help, since some women are actually good at math and engineering, too.

Just a thought. :wink:

7 Likes
29

I wonder how the other teens in the monastery tried to explain the allure of the female form.

A: ā€œTry to imagine a guy, but one who is missing a dick and has these big fleshy lumps on his body.ā€
B: ā€œThat sounds HORRIFYING.ā€

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30

A: No man, no! Itā€™s cool, the lumps also sometimes squirt milk!
B: Youā€™re not making it any better.

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31

A: "Oh yeah, and instead of a dick thereā€™s just a hole that blood comes out of sometimes."
B: ā€œYou know what? Forget I asked.ā€

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32

Probably not. The closest I came to this fellowā€™s experience was 3 months at sea on a factory ship in my mid-20s with about 85 other guys (mostly Russian and Polish).

When I arrived back on land almost every woman I saw that was under 80 had some attraction to me, especially in the first couple of days.

3 Likes
33

Mount Athos isnā€™t just a mountain, itā€™s a peninsula so it does have beaches. In fact I donā€™t think thereā€™s a road to it from the mainland, itā€™s only accessible by boat.

34

hmm, I wonder what he masturbated to.

I guess nobody else thought about that.

hmm, wonder why Iā€™m so awesome.

hmm, no someone else thought about it.

hmm, wonder why Iā€™m so lame.

35

Thatā€™s how we beat the Zentraedi, through team work. Also with music and love, IIRC. The Zentraedi have females too, but kept them segregated. Probably because the Zentraedi males couldnā€™t stay on task otherwise.

3 Likes
36

Hmm, I think this is sort of crossing a line - I mean, technically speaking, Ted Cruz is still a man.

37

I can picture about half of the over-40 women I know reading this article and muttering, ā€œSounds a lot like my first husband.ā€

1 Like
38

himself masturbatingā€¦?

39

Dang. You beat me to it. (Pun intended.)

40

Before spellcheck, you would have plausible deniability for gags slipped into the paper like that.

41

Just to make it abundantly clear - Mister44ā€™s comment is all about male incompetence, not female competence.

Or, as the meme goes: ā€œSquirrel!ā€

(Personally Iā€™m not fond of male = distractable terrier meme, but itā€™s in the zeitgeist.)

42

Probably cute monks.