The world will end on Wednesday. With fire. By God


#22

That took 1600 days? God’s omnipotence must need a tune-up


#23

Here is the evidence of Al Gore as President.


#24

I like the timeline where the Enterprise has 3 nacelles. And the one where Riker is freaked out about the Borg.

I don’t like the one where Picard isn’t Captain after his Q encounter.


#25

Surprisingly (or not) the current concept of “The Rapture” (where all the goody-goods “poof” up to heaven) is actually a contemporary (early 1800’s) xtian concept. There is some minor debate as to the specific source (either Darby somebody or 'ol what’s his nuts) of what we now conceive of as the rapture. Either way, it is not referenced nor spoken of in the KJV (or any previous incarnation).
Personally, I don’t know how you can call yourself a “good god fearing christian” and not read your beloved book in it’s native language. It would be like having Led Zeppelin as your one and only super favorite band, but never listen to a single lick from Mr. Page and instead consume all of your music via Muzak or lounge acts or, at best, cover bands. Totally weirds me out.


#26

Do you also have the feeling that someone’s gonna be cutting the thread?


#27

Here’s your recurring reminder that from the frame of reference of the Bible, “the world” just means the Middle East.


#28

Hallelujah, the 21st of May!


#29

That would imply that some of them actually read it in their own native language. Which, based on their behaviours, and beliefs of what is actually in there, they most certainly have not.


#30

Wouldn’t it get tiresome after the first, and even the second predictions don’t come true? I’d like to know what preparations, if any, the head lunatic of this church makes in advance. Gonna step right out and bet that s/he doesn’t cancel the Netflix subscription.


#31

[quote=“pesco, post:1, topic:67036”]McCann believes that Camping’s 21 May 2011 prediction did have some truth, however. That day was declared to be “judgment day” because it was actually the day God stopped the process of selecting which churchgoers will survive Wednesday’s massacre, McCann said.
[/quote]How intriguing that Heaven is still subject to bureaucratic deadlines.

It raises the question: what if one of the selected churchgoers suddenly had a catastrophic loss of faith on 22 May 2011? “Well, God would have seen that coming and that churchgoer would not have been selected” is the obvious rejoinder. To which one can only ask, doesn’t God already know which non-churchgoers would be saved too?

But I’m sure I’m thinking about this too hard.


#32

Second, maybe. The first? Well, the literature would suggest that that will just cause the true believers to dig in further.


#33

This.

If your prediction relies on the premise that an omnipotent, omniscient, infallible being requires four years to make a decision, you may need to prevaricate by (for example) explaining that your prediction is only a “strong likelihood”…


#34

Hoo boy! Well there’s pie on my face, huh guys? Right? Pie? Guys? It’s probably just my calculations and whatnot–I was drinking, and there was all that meth laying around…I’m sure it’s tomorrow! Tomorrow!! Wait, wait, where’s everyone going? Okay, how about mid-November?! No? February? As late as June? Who likes June 12th? Anybody?


#35

Well, it’s not the folks from Pawnee, Indiana. They’re known for rescheduling the Apocalypse, but they’re not Christian.


#36

I like this tack. What would count as “annihilation” from a Biblical frame of reference? Air strikes? Hospital bombings? Hajj tramplings?


#37

Won’t somebody think of all the children who are doomed by our loving Father to eternal hellfire because they were born after the cutoff date?


#38

Didn’t TPP get finalized shortly after the blood moon? Oh noes!


#39

If you can’t wait and want to get a head start, check out this sweet Rapture board game over at Wink Fun


#40

It seems Jack Handey has sent back a letter from the year 2042 telling us what it’s like after the end.


#41