This is a dumb take on the Title Card, and we are all dumber having read it.
I was always confused by Corellians being ambiguously “different” than other humans in Star Wars. Are all human-looking people originally from Corellia, and they just spread? Are Corellians a specific nationality of humans (like Iranians on Earth)? Or are they actually a different species that just looks very similar, and Han Solo secretly has a tentacle dick or something?
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The Legends consensus (canon isn’t fleshed out on historical matters) is that humans evolved on Coruscant tens of thousands of years before the battle of Yavin, were enslaved by the evil darkside-affiliated species the Rakata, and basically spread out into the galaxy from there due to the Rakata’s influence.
After the Rakatan empire ended we have many planets throughout the Galaxy inhabited by diverging cultures of humanity. In some cases the baseline humans diverged so much they became completely different species. This is what some believe happened with the Chiss along with other near-human species.
So the humans from Naboo, Corellia, Coruscant, Eriadu, Alderaan and even Tatooine are all basically the same species of baseline human. And they all have common ancestors with Zeltrons and Chiss.
There’s sort of planetary sterotypes for baseline humans. Corellians are generally considered to be adventurous and bold. The Coruscanti are thought of as toffs, you gotta be rich to live well on Coruscant right? And the Alderaanians are thought of as an artistic and poetic people. At least in the books I’ve read.
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The article is nonsense. A long time ago in a galaxy far away does not mean they are not humans. They are clearly our ancestors in some other galaxy before they reached this one.
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Such a beautifully put together movie.
Yeah, I mean I get it that this is just some irreverent fun with pointless overanalyzation, but it’s just kind of… meh? There’s so many things in Star Wars to have irreverent fun with that are more interesting.
(Like, we know that not only humans can be force sensitive, so what about whatever passes for “animal” in a particular ecosystem? Are there force sensitive porgs? How would that even work? Is that how the Sarlacc works, drawing victims to itself using the Force, because otherwise how would such a huge, immobile creature survive in the desert?)
(While we’re at it, why are there woolly animals in the desert on Tatooine? Light fur would be one thing but such a thick coat in a hot, arid desert would be a death sentence on Earth, so wtf is going on with bantha biology?)
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Star Wars does not even necessarily take place in our past.
The "title card’ is the voice of our narrator, r2-d2, explaining the story of that droid’s past to some unknown audience.
It’s long ago and far away to r2-d2, and may or may not be past for us.
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They don’t speak English at all. It’s been stated (at least in the Expanded Universe), that what “normal” people speak is Galactic Basic. It’s like how in the Lord of The Rings, the hobbits are actually speaking a language called Westron (according to Tolkien himself), and even the name “Westron” is a translation of the actual name Adûni.
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The common descent argument is at least what Star Trek uses to explain how there are all these human-like aliens scattered around the galaxy, and how some of them (like Vulcans) can successfully mate with humans. The problem from a scientific perspective is if humans didn’t evolve on Earth, why are there hominid skeletons there?
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I know you are joking, but film actually has the concept of diegetic vs non-diegetic sound. For example, music on a jukebox is diegetic, as the characters themselves can hear it, but music on the soundtrack isn’t. Of course, directors can have fun with this – Mel Brooks in particular had several scenes where the characters wonder where the dramatic music is coming from.
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Perhaps the Yoda species is a fungus?
No need to worry about where Baby Yoda came from. They found him in the back of a fridge where a Yoda spoor landed.
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Hmm. What was really holding the gun under the table when Han shot first?
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Go back three generations in my family history and every family on both sides has between six and ten children, with a slight majority of boys. Lots of reasons for that, but I believe that in a rural society, having lots of children is a useful pool of labor to help a family get by.
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OK, stoner.
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'Twas Firefly that firmly established the interstellar medium as suffused with pleasant bluegrass music.
C3PO directly refers to Solo as a “human being” in Empire, doesn’t he?
Having slogged through it mostly out of determination to wring some kind of merit from the experience, I despise Cyteen with a furious passion. (I suppose the constant references to “tape” as a storage medium for mental whatsit are quaint.)
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In all seriousness “A long time ago in a _____ far far away…” is just a standard opening for a fantasy story, which is exactly what the Star Wars franchise is: a fairy tale about knights and wizards and evil sorcerers and princesses and monsters and sword fights. Lucas just replaced “kingdom” with “galaxy.”
Trying to figure out how the story of Star Wars fits in with our own timeline is like trying to figure out when dragons and unicorns went extinct or finding Hobbiton on a map of Europe.
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“Once upon a time a farm boy went to rescue a Princess with a Wizard, and they went on a really fast wagon with a friendly Dogbear and his sneaky boss.”
Yup, totally.
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