Tiger Woods hospitalized after a roll-over car accident in Los Angeles

The scrawl on CNN said that police said he was unable to stand on his own. Would they really have tried to stand him up after pulling him through the windshield after a horrific crash?

fwiw, the “jaws of life” part has now been retracted. the sheriff’s office mentioned it in their initial tweet about the accident, but later corrected their statement.


In situations like this, the Jaws of Life are way better than the Jaws of Death.


The Mandible of Mercy?

The Maw of Miracles?

The Fangs of Fortuitousness?

The Gob of Getting the Hell out of There?


That explains whatever the sticker on the side is (and maybe why it didn’t have the performance characteristics he expected).



Regarding Jaws of Life.

Two main kinds are cutters and spreaders. There also a hybrid variant but it doesnt do either job as well as the dedicated tools. I find spreaders more convenient.

They are used to extract a person while causing the least amount of injury while speed is a factor or flammable liquids or vapors are present. If there is suspicion of spinal injury or the victim is unable to respond, the jaws are very handy to have. For example If the victim has been in a rollover the safest way to get the victim out is to cut the pillars, peel off the roof and extract the victim and seat together. If a roof-off isn’t possible then a side-out is the next best choice.

If the victim is just trapped/pinned other means can be used. If the victim is trapped because the vehicle is crushed then the jaws can be used too since the car is wrecked anyway.


For my whole life I’ve simply not been able to imagine the fortitude it must take to be able to navigate these kinds of situations… for your job. Thank you. :pray:


Back in my Army days. I didnt have to put it into action in a real-world scenario, thankfully I guess.

Looking at the picture it looks to me like the rescuers removed the windshield to access the cabin, then extraction was done through the rear of the vehicle ( also explains the luggage set off to the side). Not possible to do a full roof cutoff since the vehicle is on its side. Extrication through the rear would allow the victim to be secured to a rigid body board for stability.


As someone whose work involves looking at car accidents for an insurance company, a one car one passenger accident usually means to me either he was driving like a moron or under the influence.


Or a medical emergency, mechanical failure, animal crossing, or a zillion other possibilities.

That said, it wouldn’t be his first time driving while impaired:


I like the sound of that one…

Also, godspeed on your own recovery.


I once got my … dingaling … drawn into the end of a running vacuum cleaner. I can attest that urgency sometimes trumps a more systematic solution.


Thank you. All signs are good, as far as I can tell. No sign of infection, the pain is greatly reduced, and all natural functions have returned to normal.

I have a follow up appointment this Friday, to see if I get my mutant powers or not.


Just another skirmish in the American War on Prepositions! :wink:

(Plus journalism seems not to care about the basics, these days, like actually knowing some grammar and the actual meanings of words.)

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The Teeth of Extraction (makes a change from it being the other way round!)

The reports I read said that he was not impaired. Presumably the cops checked that (given his record).

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Oh, buddy! Well, here’s hoping it didn’t require a steel rod like Mr Woods. Or maybe not…

Here is the latest from the Guardian on the accident:


The report I saw made it sound like his legs were crushed and really in bad shape. Yikes.


Looks like. Hopefully, he can fully recover.

I do wonder what caused the crash… So far it’s unclear, other than that stretch of road being known for speeding.