In reference to the nihilism and tribalism both described and exhibited here:
Ultimatum game
So are Ashkenazi Jews. Doesnât stop bigots being racist against them.
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It will stand in that queue along with all the other non-Europeans.
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It may not be obvious, but my previous post was the sort of thing A A Milne would put into Punch, which was his day job (though very inferior to the real thing.)
However, this is channelling Now We Are Six:
Bundeskanzlerin Angela Merkel
(Nicer than Helmut Schmidt)
Took great care of Little Britain
Though it was rather shit.
Angela Merkel told the Conservatives,
âToriesâ, she said, said she,
âWhatever you do, donât leave the EU
Without consulting me.â
Nigel Farageâs dimwit supporters
Wrapped themselves in a flag
Drove off to vote for an exit
(Driving a Chinese Jag.)
Nigel Farage said to his followers,
âDimwitsâ, he said, said he,
âYou can vote to be free of the dreaded CE
And be back in time for tea.â
Little Britainâs fragile economy
Promptly started to tank.
Politicians said "Donât panic"
Pound and the markets sank.
Even some of Nigelâs followers
Noticed something amiss.
âWe just wanted the Poles to go back in their holes
Nobody mentioned this.â
Angela Merkel put up a notice
"Lost, stolen or strayed
Little Britainâs so called economy
Seems to have been mislaid.â
Hillary Clinton, somebody told me
Said to a man she knew
"Make it less hard to get a green card
And weâll pinch all their students too.â
Nigel Farage and Boris Johnson
Said it wasnât their fault.
A big boy did it and ran away
Leaving an empty vault.
Sorry about your old age pensions
Healthcare and roads and schools
Weâre doing all right and youâre all in the shite
Thanks for being such tools.
We need an extra verse:
Alex Boris de Pfeffel Johnson
Commonly known as Bo
Jo, looked quite hard at the mess heâd started
And promptly lost his mo.
âJoke overâ he suddenly uttered
Uttered he did, did he
"Theyâre all going down before Mrs. Mayâs frown,
this isnât the place for me!"
And, sadly, another verse is needed:
Michael Gove was told by his wife,
âMichaelâ, she said, said she
"Murdoch and Dacre say run for PM
And Iâm telling you - that makes three.â
Michael thought about his chances
And quickly began to shout
"Whatâs wrong with our nation is immigration
Foreigners out, out, out!â
I promise this is the last verse:
Angela, Angela, Leadsom, Leadsom
Commonly known as "who?â
Decided to stand for Conservative leader
Because she had nothing to do.
Angela Leadsom, passionate Outer,
Said to herself, said she
"If the members would vote for a randy old goat
Theyâll probably vote for me!â
Enough already.
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How old is he? Iâm in my fifties and they taught me the metric system in primary school, and I gave Imperial up with relief, as I could never remember how many ibs there are in an oz, and how many flozes in a gill, or however it goes. I deeply resented having to learn it later in life, when it turned out that people (especially Americans) didnât immediately follow suit.
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Michael Portillo asked the House of Commons how much it would cost for the Armed Forces to go metric and was promptly told that they did that - in 1948.
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Like you, I have passed my half century (though one I was nearly caught at silly mid on), and didnât shed any tears for the demise of pounds, shillings and feet. My colleague is at least ten years my junior.
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In the real story, Winnie the Pooh climbs out of the underground house, through the hole to find the sun shining brightly on the other side, and all his friends soon follow him through.
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What about Farthings, Haâpennies, Pennies, Tuppence, Thrupeny bits, Sixpences, Florins, Half Crowns, Ten Bob Notes, and Guineas?
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I spent nearly two years at school learning to do arithmetic in the Imperial system. You havenât lived till you have had to multiply amounts in pounds, shillings, pence and farthings. I can still remember my 8 year old self having to do this.
But it all came in useful many years later when I had to deal with date conversions and times using the java.Calendar class. Time is still an arbitrary fustercluck, but at least having wrestled with the Imperial System prepares you for it.
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Pound is being shorted with some estimates of $1.1 by the time of the Conservative election. Sunshine for currency speculators, yes.
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No, you donât.
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Winnie the Worker toiled mindlessly in the 100 Acre Squat when he was approached by Albi The Racist Dragon and Pighumper The Neoliberal Swine.
âWe should leave the European Union or weâll be overrun with strays and cross-breeds,â said Albi racistly.
âWe should stay with the European Union or my precious Honey Hoard will lose value,â oinked Pighumper greedily.
âOh dearâŚoh dearâ said Winnie the Worker indecisively.
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Pooh looked behind him at the others. âCome on throughâ he said. "That cramped little room is so small and dark. Out here in the great big Hundred-Acre-Wood the birds are singing, and thereâs Wol and Christopher Robin too."
Rabbit twitched nervously. "Iâm not sure Pooh, to be honest Iâm a little afraid."
Eeyore raised his head gloomily. âDonât bother.â he said. âNothing ever really gets better.â
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Metric units are rather arbitrary as well. I believe we should go with a unit system based on nature itself. For instance, instead of saying âItâs 2016,â we would say itâs such and such an exponent of Planck time units since the beginning of the universe.
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Edited to add:
Oh bother!
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So, hats as shorthand for nationalities. Discuss.
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Piglet is not wearing a hat, but has been endowed with an improbably large moustache.
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Four legs good, two legs bad.
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Especially on your plate in Nandos.
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