It is worth noting that the emotional stunting of males is not universal. Very much societal. When i was in Haiti it was very common to see men walking hand in hand. They weren’t gay, just friends and thd society was ok with male friendship. Here? Nope, not at all.
25 Likes
India too, lots of men holding hands and being unashamedly tactile.
21 Likes
I’ve heard the same about countries in the Middle East, but haven’t had a chance to visit yet.
17 Likes
New shoegazing boy band?
16 Likes
MC Hammer tribute act.
15 Likes
CAN touch this!
19 Likes
Tunisia, too, and Turkey.
Based on my limited sampling of countries that do this, I have a hypothesis that countries where gender stereotypes are strictly enforced and the men and women mainly socialize separately, the men feel more comfortable expressing themselves physically with other men.
Eye-opening read overall.
In the essay, the part about women wearing armor around men was interesting and true, but I also wanted to add that often when I have behaved toward men as one would anyone, friendly stranger style, 80% of the time they interpret it as I want to sleep with them. It’s really disappointing.
24 Likes
Alternatively, Christians ruined it for everyone else. They got that gender stereotype thing down but manly affection? No!!
(Although there’s arguably nothing more manly than two gay dudes going at it. 
)
16 Likes
I’ve long said to anyone who will listen that trans folk are the key to understanding gender-based conflict because we’re the only people who have lived both sides of it.
No doubt the the other trans women here can related to the flip side that we experience- the instant loss of being taken seriously on anything. This was stark for me. Nobody gave a damn about my opinion on anything anymore and everyone’s default position switched to me being “probably wrong” about things. 30 years post-transition and I’m still not used to that.
18 year old boys have more automatic credibility on every topic than 50yo women. Food for thought.
It goes further than that though, as the twitter post says. It fucks with your brain. It’s not just that people listened to me. I distinctly remember feeling like they did so because I was smart. I felt I had earned all this respect that I was being given about everything. Some part of me felt I deserved it. That’s privilege right there, and the loss of it smarts!
33 Likes
I’ve definitely noticed that. I never really had to fight to get my idea across before, I could just state it. Now I have to fight to even get consideration. I really feel that last bit too… much of the respect wasn’t because of my abilities but due to the fact I was a white man. That’s a big blow to the ego.
On the other hand, socially I am much happier than I was when I was cosplaying a man. I have more genuine friendships and find it a lot easier to exist in social spaces. In the past, all of my friends were tied to hobbies, and we basically never did anything outside of those contexts. They also all vanished into the ether the second I came out, so not really friends I think.
Basically, I’ve traded professional respect for real friends. 100% worth it.
25 Likes
Strong agree! 
13 Likes
My wife, for whatever reason, apparently never developed that. She is open and friendly with everybody. To the point that i have occasionally been uncomfortable about it, until i ask myself why i feel that way? The answer, of course, is because i am a stupid jerk with an amazing woman who, for reasons forever mysterious, loves me. But that read gave me a new take on her. I have asked her before if she had experienced inappropriate interactions with men, and she said she had not. I think maybe dhe really hasn’t. Does that make her a unicorn?
20 Likes
Maybe? Some women can radiate a do-not-fuck-with-me vibe while still being friendly and open. Perhaps she is one of those? Especially if she is used to wielding authority in her professional sphere. I can do it, but I also have “resting witch face,” as my husband says (affectionately*). So I’ve never gotten much inappropriate male attention for friendliness outside of bar/party situations.
*Our child asked why all her friends always glom onto to him when he does pick-up but not me. He was buried in preschoolers once. Me? They say hello and wave and will talk to me endlessly about whatnot, but never ask for hugs. Much less en mass. I laughed when I overheard and told him he got to explain to her teachers when they understandably think she said a different word.
16 Likes
12 Likes
Maybe!
Me and the Mr aren’t actually married, but a few years ago he got me a ring that I started wearing on work trips, and that definitely helped with the unfortunate side of male interactions while just being a friendly human. If your Mrs has had a ring this whole time, that might be part of it 
Or she just has a knack.
Maybe both.
13 Likes
A friend called her faux wedding ring asshole repellent.
16 Likes
Nice, I usually have to go with the next finger over.
16 Likes
Great name!
My boss was the first one who gave me the idea. They both, I guess, take them off at night. She mentioned how a couple times she’d forgotten her wedding ring on work trips and noticed a real difference. But her husband would forget sometimes and it made no difference.
15 Likes
My grandma’s old joke about wearing wedding rings was that they tend to “cut off your circulation.”
15 Likes
Your grandma sounds awesome. I can imagine her delivering that line with a knowing wink.
14 Likes
