Trump compares his lack of an organ to Elton John's organ

Trump has an organ, but it is a bit easy to miss when he forgets to take his meds.


This reminds me way too much of an event I worked for a “spiritual healer” a few nights ago. Just replace “brain”, “organ” and the sports references with “light”, “transmute” and new age rambling and it’s practically the same word salad. Many people on the left fall for this same incoherent gibberish way too easily- though at least I can say with confidence that the healer and his audience have good intentions.


How can anyone, after hearing that gibberish, think that this guy is a good candidate for president? He’s a good candidate for the sanitarium. And, we’d have to ask Stormy Daniels or Melania if he has an organ.


Once again my bafflement that this demented weirdo is POTUS is compounded by the fact that 27% of my fellow American adults find the performance that inspired my discombobulation to be absolutely delightful.



I don’t have a guitar or an organ. No organ. Elton has an organ. And lots of other people helping. No we’ve broken a lot of records. We’ve broken virtually every record.

Puppet Man (with apologies to SEJ)

My bed is warm, with Fox and Friends,
executive time ‘til 10AM,
And I’m gonna be hi-i-igh as a kite by then…

I miss New York so much, I miss my life,
Who knew this new job would be so hard?,
But for 50 bu-u-ucks, you can kiss my ring.

And I think it’s gonna be a long, long time 'til Putin brings me round again to find I’m not the man they think I am at home
Oh no, no, no, I’m a puppet man
Puppet man, pull my strings I’ll dance for you.

Mars ain’t the kind of place to stash your kids,
A Comet Ping Pong pizza Hell,
So Alex Jones flew out there to save them, yes he did.

So many laws and rules, I don’t understand,
I break ‘em all, 5 days a week,
A puppet man, a puppet man.

And I think it’s gonna be a long, long time 'til the heartland brings me round again to find that we can’t win my trade war all on our own,
Oh no, no, no, I’m a puppet man,
Puppet man, pull my strings I’ll dance for you.

And I think it’s gonna be a rough, tough road when Mueller finds out about my Russian loans and what they’ve got on me and what I still owe,
Oh no, no, no, I’m a puppet man,
Puppet man, pull my strings I’ll dance for you.

(Coda, fade out)

And I think I’m gonna get a long, long time
‘Cause Dopey Cohen’s gonna testify,
On how I sink a lotta loot to cover lies,
But when she spanked me with that Forbes it was sublime,
And I think I’m gonna get a long, long time,
Who knew a year was such a long, long time?
Who knew a year was such a long, long time?
Every single day is such a long, long time.

Edited because when you’re flying over the ocean and you pass the halfway point, you pretty much have to keep going.



These are the words of a man reading from PREPARED REMARKS. And he has access to NUCLEAR WEAPONS.


But no guitar
And no organ, my, my, my…

Orange is the new Blues


Was this in some weird way a riff on

“I fill stadiums more than Elton John! did you know I sent Kim a mix tape with Rocket Man?
true, we’re bffs now, pinky swear, but he doesn’t know I let Vlad do the p… is this thing on?”


I dunno. I get it. I also don’t have an organ. I have a keyboard, but Elton has organs. Lots of organs. Organ grinders too. I’ve never seen a live monkey though except in a zoo. No organs in zoos. The house here is small. We don’t need a lot of room. They need a lot of room. We don’t need the room. So no rooms. Just the keyboard. All the musical is in my brain. I have fingers for a mouth. Except for eating.




…and then the crazy, spandex/sequin wearing audience applauded drumpf’s nigh meaningless word spaghetti.


its like his head contains a little evil mini Roseanne Barr pulling levers that make him speak and a mini John Goodman has crawled in side to stop her and they are having a lever pulling domestic fighting each other to control his words.


i just can’t listen to him. i thought GW Bush was bad, but he was just the prequel to this goddamn word salad spewing nightmare. reading him is bad enough.




Guy who’s just been hit on the head with a sack of bricks sounds exactly like Sarah Palin


“He who warned the British that they weren’t going to be taking away our arms, by ringing those bells, and making sure as he’s riding his horse through town to send those warning shots and bells that we were going to be secure and we were going to be free.”

Only the crazy people from Dumbfuuckastan speak like this!


EARLY stages?? Whatcho talkin’ 'bout??


Paddle faster. I hear organs.