I don’t have a guitar or an organ. No organ. Elton has an organ. And lots of other people helping. No we’ve broken a lot of records. We’ve broken virtually every record.
Puppet Man (with apologies to SEJ)
My bed is warm, with Fox and Friends,
executive time ‘til 10AM,
And I’m gonna be hi-i-igh as a kite by then…
I miss New York so much, I miss my life,
Who knew this new job would be so hard?,
But for 50 bu-u-ucks, you can kiss my ring.
And I think it’s gonna be a long, long time 'til Putin brings me round again to find I’m not the man they think I am at home
Oh no, no, no, I’m a puppet man
Puppet man, pull my strings I’ll dance for you.
Mars ain’t the kind of place to stash your kids,
A Comet Ping Pong pizza Hell,
So Alex Jones flew out there to save them, yes he did.
So many laws and rules, I don’t understand,
I break ‘em all, 5 days a week,
A puppet man, a puppet man.
And I think it’s gonna be a long, long time 'til the heartland brings me round again to find that we can’t win my trade war all on our own,
Oh no, no, no, I’m a puppet man,
Puppet man, pull my strings I’ll dance for you.
And I think it’s gonna be a rough, tough road when Mueller finds out about my Russian loans and what they’ve got on me and what I still owe,
Oh no, no, no, I’m a puppet man,
Puppet man, pull my strings I’ll dance for you.
(Coda, fade out)
And I think I’m gonna get a long, long time
‘Cause Dopey Cohen’s gonna testify,
On how I sink a lotta loot to cover lies,
But when she spanked me with that Forbes it was sublime,
And I think I’m gonna get a long, long time,
Who knew a year was such a long, long time?
Who knew a year was such a long, long time?
Every single day is such a long, long time.
Edited because when you’re flying over the ocean and you pass the halfway point, you pretty much have to keep going.
