Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2020/06/03/trump-denies-then-confirms-he.html
Tries to convince everyone it was ‘more for an inspection’
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“FAKE NEWS! I absolutely did NOT take my family with me when I fled to safety!”
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Nostradumbass lied?
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Baby Don was just looking for his pacifier in the bwunker 
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Now wait, I do that too. At 11pm, when there’s some noise outside my window, I decide to go on an inspection tour of the basement and when I do, I turn off all the lights so I can …uh, see better!, Yeah that’s it, so I can see better.
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He had to make sure the Luger was loaded.
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It would be so easy for a normal human being to say “the office of the presidency carries with it an abundance of security measures developed over many years, one of which requires evacuating to a safe area at any hint of risk.” Nobody would think less of a person following such protocols. But not this man…he has to play superhero to his audience of fawning morons.
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I was thinking the same thing. It was the Secret Service that put Trump in the bunker. He was probably too absorbed in tweeting to notice there was a problem. A proper leader would simply say the Secret Service are the experts, and he defers to their judgment on matters of safety.
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No word yet on whether he hid under the bed … er… conducted a dust bunny inspection…
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How the heck do you visit a bunker two and a half times? Was he going down the stairs when he realized it was time for Hannity?
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Haha, what a loo-sah!
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You know who else hid in a bunker?
One day we will be pulling trump out of a bunker hole found in one of his golf courses.
Probably the Jersey one.
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Have you previously inspected your bunker cough basement 2.5 times?
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Hey, I have like a photo photo of that, somewhere…
Sadly, unlike Saddam, Trump will probably die in his bed at some point.
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Dolt 45’s bunker explanation is about as truthful as the just released results of his physical:
Resting heart rate of 63 bpm - not likely at all for a man in his 70s that doesn’t get vigorous exercise every week. I’d believe this part of the report if it said 75 or 80 bpm.
Blood pressure 121/79 mmHG - I told this figure to my wife (she’s a clinical secretary for 3 oncology hematologists). Her immediate response was “It’s too perfect. There’s no way anyone has BP within 1 point of textbook perfect.” Textbook perfect BP is 120/80 mmHG.
Height 6’3" - another nope. Eric towers over him by a good 6" in every picture, and he’s 6’5".
Weight 244 lbs - not at all believable. I have 6’3" to 6’6" friends that weigh between 220 and 260 lbs. None of them have bodies as rotund as the current occupant of the WH.
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Don’t be ridiculous! He’ll die of a coronary on the toilet.
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If god blesses America, it will be one of these.
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