Trump: "I was always the best athlete"


#21

Every single day, since November of 2016.


#22

But can you imagine the conspiracy theories?

Usain Bolt couldn’t fairly beat Trump in a race, so he had him assassinated. Antifa, Black Lives Matter, Kim Jong Un and George Soros helped, of course.


#23

When is a journalist going to try the “idiot says ‘what’?” gag on him?


#24

There just isn’t a bottom any more, is there? It’s bottom…all the way down.


#25

His physical exam was scheduled for today. I’m guessing the results will be short on details. “The doctor said I’m the healthiest human being he has ever seen…just don’t ask me to release the exam notes.”


#26

Coincidentally, the doctor has only ever done cadaver lab exams before.


#27

There’s no separating the mental illness from the dementia from the plain old stupidity. It’s a melange.


#28

#29

That’s what his campaign physical basically said. Just a note saying “GREAT SHAPE YES! NOW WHERE IS MONEYS?!”. (I’m only slightly paraphrasing)

Oh, and it was from his gastroenterologist. So he intentionally picked someone that couldn’t examine his neurological or cardiovascular health, surprise and more surprise.


#30

You know that one relative you have, and at Christmas or Thanksgiving, since the whole family is invited over, you can’t tell that one relative to stay the fuck away from us, you HAVE to let it slide and let that person come over… but you know… you just KNOW… they are going to be in the kitchen pawing through your refrigerator… or in your bedroom pawing through your jewelry… or they’ll get smashed and vomit on the furniture… or they’ll break your favorite wine glass… or they’ll make the kids cry… or step on the dog… SOMETHING… you just KNOW they are gonna do something totally awful but you don’t know what it is and you just have to get through it to the other side and see them off, shut the front door and collapse on the couch with a glass of whiskey that it’s all over and hope that next year, the holiday is at someone else’s house.

That’s Trump. He’s that relative. And that’s what we are all doing.

Except it’s nuclear winter, not a broken wine glass. And it’s a race purge, not vomiting on the couch. And it’s whose daughter is getting groped, not groping through the fridge. Etc., a lot more is on the line. But in general terms… the day-to-day feeling is like that low level of dread at that one horrible relative showing up and how the hell are we going to get through this? Well, let’s get through this.


#31

(Yes, that’s the actual guy, and also, yes that’s Windows XP he’s running.)


#32

He was born senile.


#33

Came here to write that, was gratified to see it already done.

He is such a perfect model for what a human being should NOT strive to be.


#34

I assume you mean both types of Coke?


#35

He left them in the care of his Canadian girlfriend.


#36

Now thats what I call a respectable, trustworthy physician!


#37

Even his diplomas are crooked.


#38

It took me a while to think of an appropriate but rational response to this latest dubious claim, but it finally came to me:


#39

I honestly can’t decide whether that article image is a shoop.


#40

With auto-arrange on the desktop icons. shudder