Kinds of sounds like… Elon Musk.
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“I’d never pay $2000.00 to have a garbanzo bean on my face.”
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Beautiful. But is the mushroom cloud above or below “11”?
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In a statement today, Emperor Palpatine thanked the rebels for reducing the operating costs of the Death Star by blowing it up. “It really cut down our payroll,” the Emperor said, his eyes glowing with the sinister power of the Dark Side.
“This Luke Skywalker guy is incredible. He wiped out the uncle, he wiped out this one, that one. This guy doesn’t play games.” Politifact later gave Palpatine’s claims about Skywalker killing his uncle a “pants on fire” rating, which the Emperor decried as “yet more fake news from the dishonest rebel media.”
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Maybe he should use the same kind of diplomacy with N Korea:
"Thank you for the offer to remodel our island territory of Guam. It is quite mountainous, which makes it difficult to develop resort properties and golf courses. Our own efforts to flatten the countryside have been met with job-killing regulations and delays, but your proposal both works around those regulations and saves us a great deal of time.
If this project works out well, perhaps we can work together for mutual benefit in the future.
Sincerely yours in fire and fury,
Donald J Turnip"
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I guess now Trump must be very popular among foreign affairs employees
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This is where a strongly visual imagination really feels like a curse.
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It wasn’t long ago Trump criticized Obama for being too weak with regards to Russia:
http://www.forbes.com/sites/kenrapoza/2015/09/11/trump-says-obama-weak-in-dealing-with-russia-on-ukraine/
Now Trump licks Putin’s balls. Sure showed him.
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To summarize:
- United States Congress (our team) takes bipartisan action to impose sanctions on Russia after they interfere in our election. In response, Trump attacks congress.
- Putin (not our team) imposes sanctions on United States by kicking out diplomats from US State Department (our team). In response, Trump praises Putin.
How Trump supporters can perform the mental gymnastics required to view him as an American patriot is beyond me. Putin could sink one of our aircraft carriers and Trump would thank him for saving us millions of dollars in maintenance costs.
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Maybe they could be reassigned to the Elbonian Embassy, then they could stoke up some controversy and get Trump to declare war on a fictional country created by one of his supporters. That could be awkward.
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Ah yes, that legendary Scott Adams cultural incisiveness and wit.
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I imagine that Trump has a tongue like a cat, to go along with his tiny paws; but then maybe the Russian hardman likes it rough?
Congress are Russia-hating Cold War dinosaurs, but Trump understands that Putin is leading a Christian nation defending Western civilisation against terrorism, Sharia law and nondenominational season’s greetings.
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Elementary school recess wit.
“Yeah, well I didn’t like those glasses you just stomped on anyway.”
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Trump does know what embassies do, right? And diplomats/spies are useful as well - how are we going to sabotage cities, poison wells and steal technology if they all get disbanded? Freakin’ noob!
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It’s all the more funny because I’d bet he has no idea of what ‘priming the pump’ actually means. (Eg, having to first pour water into the pump before you can begin effective pumping)
I do wonder what he thinks it means literally, being that “he thought it up himself”? He’d probably just give a tautological reply: "y’know, it’s… priming the pump!"
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He’s not praising Putin, he’s doing a power play. “Oh you did a thing you thought i wouldn’t like? Well I did like it, you did me a favour.”
If that flew below your radar, this article may help:
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I was told he would soon stop show boating and start acting presidential. Still waiting.
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Really this is more “neener neener neener that doesn’t hurt, you punch like a girl” than sucking up to Putin.
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