It seems suspicious that the agency in charge of consumer products would have an opinion on birds if they aren’t in fact manufactured.
So I tried to decode one of the messages a birdroid left on my windshield but I couldn’t get shit out of it.
Wait until people find out what that white stuff in bird shit is.
Yep, good on you for understanding that reference.
Yeah, but are you really going to believe the… US Consumer Product Safety Commission?
(Wait, why are they weighing in on this?)
Or trees - for the same reason.
Surely that’s good news? A new category was mistakenly created to mislabel animals we already had name for - which would mean dinosaurs were birds, not that “birds are dinosaurs.” I.e. birds are real, “dinosaurs” aren’t. (Disappointing for small children everywhere, but…)
As they’re paraphyletic, there’s either no such thing as a fish, or all (vertebrate) animals are fish.
That statement “Birds are real” presupposes that the phenomena in question can be defined. What is a fish? It has been reported that fish ‘live’ in water. “But what is water? It’s a difficult question because water is impossible to describe. One might ask the same about birds, what are birds? We just will never know.”
Source: from: *Look Around You : season 1, (2001/2 pilot episode?), clip found on YouTube, posted by user FlatFootHero on 2011 08 12, see also Birds Arn’t Real, Boingboing, 2019 09 12 by Rob Beschizza and Birds Aren’t Real activists hold rally in Springfield, Missouri, BoingBoing, 2021 06 25 by David Pescovitz
Now, I’m off to get a jump on fitting into the society of the future by watering my plants with Brawndo, The Thirst Mutilator™, ‘It has what plants crave!’.
Tell me about it!
I’m constantly hearing old coots rail on about birds not being real. It may have started as a lark, but TPTB have been robin people of their ability to think logically for so long that the boobies will swallow anything, no matter how cuckoo.
Well, it doesn’t fly with me, and I’m not just saying that to crow about my own rationality. Don’t parrot the lies that troublemakers hawk just to feather their own nests, people! Loose storks cost lives!
I recall the old MAD Magazine take on a Hitchcock film’s marketing:
THE BIRDS IS HERE!
AND GOOD GRAMMAR IN ADVERTISING HAS WENT!
They can’t duck the truth forever!
They’re as real as pi.
Pi is a lie mathematicians tell to children so they don’t have to tell the truth of infinite series.
Buncha nasty peckers.
And most nuts, aren’t.
Wow dude, no need to be seedy about it.
Two dozen Blackbirds cant be wrong. Of course, they were stoned.
Name your bird, you’ll find it here.
Artist: Annie Raines
(yes, it’s my sister)