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You said “hitting is hitting”, though, as if the nuance is irrelevant, when it very much isn’t. The nuance matters, I’d argue.
And now… 
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Misdemeanor at most, and only if the LEOs push for it.
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Allegedly according to the report he threatened to abandon her in the wilderness. So… I’m not excusing a slap but I will point out that this is not a light hearted threat.
And… now it’s looking like she’s probably going to be confirmed dead.
But she probably deserved it right? He’s the victim here right? Of course… of course… let’s take that angle because of course… let’s keep things in perspective here.
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Any unwanted physical contact can be considered assault.
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The agent in charge was careful to remind everyone that the body was not 100% confirmed to be hers and that the cause of death was TBD, but he also started by offering his condolences to the family and he sounded emotionally devastated throughout.
Just in case anyone wants to leave the link blue.
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I never meant to imply that nuance is irrelevant (have you met me!?!?!?? oh, wait…), only that crossing that line is still crossing that line, and is a BFD regardless of circumstances, extenuating or other.
But I really do have a problem with seeing any sort of violence normalized. I understand that not all violence is physical, and also that it’s possible to throw the first blow in self defense. However, while I empathize quite strongly with the sentiment underlying the statement “Boys are stupid, throw rocks at them”, I still have a problem with the idea of throwing rocks at people.
Nuance matters, especially when it comes to abusive situations. Plenty of women who had been subjected to violence for years on end end up locked up when they fight back or kill their abuser.
Add to that the blame place on women for BEING abused (how did you provoke him? why didn’t you get out when he first hurt you? why did you let it continue? etc), and it’s clear to me that not all violence is created or treated equal in our society.
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Unfortunately, chances are high that it’s the missing woman in question.
Aka, the Burning Bed syndrome; Francine Hughes was abused by her husband for more than a decade and sought help repeatedly from authorities, to no avail… until finally one day, she took matters into her own hands and killed her abuser by setting fire to their bed as he slept.
The court case which followed, where Hughes was found not guilty, helped set future policy for domestic abuse laws.
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Which you’ve clarified multiple times now. But do you see how saying “hitting is hitting” in reply to @chgoliz when she was making a distinction about nuance came across that way, even if unintentionally?
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Who here said otherwise?
The last time I swung first I was eighteen years old. But if you knew the full situation, you’d understand that I was ethically in the clear. I call that nuance.
I once offered to help go after someone’s abuser. With the benefit of hindsight I’m glad she didn’t take me up on that offer, but it was a sincere offer. For this militant pacifist, there was also nuance involved there.
And I was replying to a post that I felt came across as normalizing violence, even if unintentionally.
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You said “hitting is hitting”… that’s very much a LACK of nuance, in a reality where women are often held more accountable for defending themselves from abuse than the abuser.
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Said another way, power dynamics matter. In the same way it’s not racism when white people are denied affirmative action because they already benefit from the existing power structure, violence is not the same when (perhaps literally) punching up. I don’t mean to dog pile on you here because I know you get it and I think you just want to express desire for a world where no hitting exists at all. But think of it this way- punching up is part of how you get to a world where no punching exists at all.
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Well, I know @chgoliz well enough to know she wasn’t trying to normalize violence. But I submit that the way in which you replied to her did not send the message you thought it did.
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Exactly. We don’t live in a world where women and men are treated equally in our society. Women are far too often STILL blamed for their abuse, and far too often, blamed for defending themselves from that abuse.
In an ideal world, there would be no violence at all, of course, and no need to use violence to defend oneself. But we live in reality, where violence does exist and power dynamics exist.
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That part.
Even if a woman flat out punches a man, the potential damage she can physically inflict is significantly less than the damage that could be done to her if the situation were reversed.
Not only are men generally physically stronger than women, but society itself is set up to enable and facilitate men’s needs over women’s.
That ‘hitting anyone is wrong’ is both obvious and beside the fucking point.
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Well, until the Prestige, when they both come back, but with twice the number of prominent chins. They’re chin pals! (They just have to revive the body in Wyoming to deal with the facsimile violence thread, and have a plush tiger or a Social McGuffin (please drink Apple AR responsibly) in the shot with her.)
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whoa…
that never occurred to me, comrade.
do tell.
Fuckin’ Bot
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