Yeah, I'm not actually doing this for hope, this is more a sense of obligation. Is this part of why it's hard to get people to see this? Because all the other good ones are kind of hope-strained, and I've just been plodding along because I don't have much of a choice?
I'll admit, there were times I wanted to give up on it and throw it away and just go back to a tiny life, but . . . man, I once hoped that dealing with the cumulative suffering I was failing to prevent would get easier to manage if I did something else. . . whoa was that a stupid thought. It's the sheer OBVIOUSNESS of it that's the problem, it IS a few lateral hops, don't get me wrong, and there are a lot of bases to cover because of all the different scenarios. . . but how else do you fix this mess? You build a better model.
In past lives I had a knack, complex interactions between systems and people just flowed for me. They always get more complex the more is going on, but it's pretty easy to see what's real and what's not. Of COURSE an algorithm to predict consumer behavior for marketing would have useful applications predicting patient behavior in health care. It's not a 'marketing algorithm', it's an algorithm that does X and Y and is being applied to marketing, right?
Then of course you DO have the things that have some disproportionate effect when added, removed, or changed. Those were usually really easy to find, but every now and then some really weird harmonic develops and those are a bit trickier . . . but I usually was already pretty far ahead of the game by the time they cropped up, and those were my favorite parts! How am I supposed to get better at something if I'm always right? Feynman was kind of my idol.
So, that was my forge, and I'm starting to think my thought processes are an important part of this, because it helps to know WHY certain things were added, rejected, and considered, doesn't it? Just promise if I'm right (and I am, the bar is set low) . . . you guys'll use this thing to help me hide away and have a small life at some point. I really don't like the idea of this being about me, or any stupid messianic stuff. This is just science, effort, and persistence.
So . . . my wife, Rebecca. . she was something else. If you've seen Vincent and the Doctor. . that was my life She was just too gentle for this world. . . it HURT her to know what was going on in the world, because she couldn't help. And then right when I feared she was the saddest thing in the world she'd open up the sky for me and show me beauty right THERE . . . stuff I'd missed all along.
It's been almost two years since we lost her. And I dedicated myself to the only thing that made sense, to find the most Rebecca worthy thing in the world to do. . Something little, but something genuine.
I just wanted to make a place to help a few people, the sort she loved. . . and maybe also send some of them out to get the most pathetic, nearly broken animals at the shelters and save them and get them around people who need something to take care of . . she would've wanted that job, and there are a lot like her. It wasn't SUPPOSED to be big and complicated.
But you do need it to work in the real world, and she hated when something was half-assed . . . and once it was strong enough to do that. . . well. . . you start seeing loopholes and exploits right away. Of course I started looking at industries and verticals I was comfortable with, but really. . like I said, some of this is just painfully easy to see. A person's a person and a mind is a mind, and once you've got something good enough for a typical Middle-Upper class Westerner . . then what about the rest of the world? Don't you have to take them into account too?
Seriously, anything else would be a dick move.
And then . . . holy shit, MORE exploits. . . but also more types of people and more problems. You think I'd complain, but finding and hitting those from a dozen angles is one of my greatest sources of pleasure. And when I make progress . . when I KNOW that I've just made this more flexible and stronger at the same time. . . well, that's when I hear her delightful evil giggle the most loudly. Maybe it was a little mad, but it was USEFUL madness.
And TED . . . man they've got some great mind-hacks, and every speech connects to a bunch of articles and journals . . but you also start to realize there's a lot more unlearning to do than learning. We make most of our problems without any help. . . but we can engineer our world around us to control that, too.
So what started as a tiny little thing HAD to get bigger. That recruitment exploit is just to good to pass up, who can fight us there? The only way to compete is with a better offer (AWESOME!), and the only people who wouldn't be interested would be those we . . . really don't want until they change their attitude, y'know? Addition by subtraction is SO powerful. And then you see what we could do overseas, with a nation that would let us give anybody we wanted a Visa (in exchange for us spoiling them senseless!) or if we exploited Citizens United at the US Primary level . . . again, so many options.
And you start to realize that we're all spinning our wheels and complaining, but nobody is DOING anything, or they're doing things in silos that aren't designed to interconnect and grow.
This is a framework for them is all, exploiting everything we can,it's already more than solid enough just using the corporation, but again. . Rebecca hated half-assed things, so might as well extrapolate a logical vision, right?
And I still somehow managed to stay humble enough to know that this is just the seed of something way better. I'm actually getting a little excited (not like THAT) at the idea of somebody actually finding a problem, or coming up with something better. That sounds . . . beyond awesome. And I'd get to be less important as well. That's at least a win-win, right?
So . . . I've posted enough on these boards lately that people can see how my mind works. . . add this to that to what's here . . . and I guess maybe there are reasons that this hasn't happened yet, but once it's out there properly, it HAS to happen. It's too easy to miss . . but for the first time in my life I'm stuck with something I can't prototype. Which really sucks, because this is the only one that actually matters.
So, yeah. Maybe I needed to say that?