The fact that they’ve never given it to me makes me think there’s some sort of fix!
I was bemused when awarded it. The post cited for the award was, I believe, (and I would say this, wouldn’t I) witty, but not overly pedantic in the traditional sense. Pedantic in another sense, rather than the one expected, I feel.
That is not meant be a badge of honor.
You gets your kicks where you can.
And clearly, some aspire to it.
At my first barista job there was a parole office around the corner. They seemed to specialize in people with drug issues and all the guys went in weekly to pee in a cup and then would come over for some coffee. They had a favorite off menu drink that combined as many tight shots, sugar and chocolate into our largest cup.
So one day a co-worker was sick and I was asked to work a second shift. A had an hour break before this second shift started and I thought what better thing to drink than that drink the meth dudes and speed freaks all liked so much.
The drink went down so easy… but before the hour was up I had lost my peripheral vision. Everything outside of my central view was white static. I didn’t feel sped up. I was beyond that, and instead was experiencing strong feelings of disassociation from my body. Anyone that has dropped acid knows what this is like. It’s not a bad feeling but does not pair well with having to interface with the cranky public.
Thankfully my manager was understanding and found another replacement. She sent me home and I think I just fell asleep when I got home and didn’t wake up until the next day feeling really well rested.
Obviously, I don’t know how your caffeine intolerance manifests itself, but I have sensed a difference between the effect of drinking hot-brewed versus cold -brewed. I always feel a little ‘something’ (nothing really bothersome) in my gut from drinking the former (possibly due to its acidity). But cold-brewed – for me – is as smooth as silk; very little detectable bitterness and no acid-related effects. If you haven’t tried cold-brewed coffee, perhaps you’d have better luck with that. At home we switch-off between hot and cold brewing depending on how quickly we want some of the java. Home brew is best for us; we never ever order cold-brew from coffeehouses for fear of they slipping some hot-brew into it. (And we can guarantee that fine beans are used.)
I drank an entire gallon of water once in one sitting when I was a youngster. The trip to the bathroom a couple hours later was one for the ages. I can’t imagine drinking 2 gallons of coffee.
Well as I’m sure you know, the “am” is not strictly necessary and may be implied.
There are currently nine holders. The fact that I’m not one of them is a travesty.
even if an endocrine problem makes you tired all the time and not respond to caffeine in a normal way
even then, two gallons of coffee is way way way way too fucking much
You build up a very big tolerance. There was a time in my life when I was drinking 6-8 imperial pints of (strong) coffee a day. This was also the time in my life when I only slept alternate nights which might not have been a coincidence. It was still possible to overdo it though, I missed judged the pot size and drank the equivalent of 24 regular espressos in an hour, one time. It wasn’t very pleasant.
My body eventually rebelled and I didn’t sleep for nine days and I’ve not touched it since. Now even smelling coffee can give me the shakes. I made the mistake of taking a sip to taste some, when I was buying some beans as a present for someone and felt sick for a couple of hours afterward.
Decaf, baby!
Cue citation of article that claims the chemicals used to decaffeinate coffee are unsafe.
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