To understand the reasons why someone is behaving a certain way doesn’t mean you condone it. However, I have found that just seeking to understand someone helps that other person lower their defensive barriers and begin to change their behavior for the better (like they know they should). It’s kind of like that old saying, “No one cares about what you know until they know that you care.”
Well, fairly emphatic, and even more empathetic. Not sure the women merits such understanding, and yeah, it sure doesn’t excuse her racist abusive treatment of those food service workers.
Is that a fancy talk way of calling me a cynic?
I’ve seen you around and your arguments, so I’m sure you’re not saying this justifies a total meltdown. At most, it’s a reason never to go there again, I think.
You said that. nm
I can’t like your post enough. I wish your level of empathy were neurotypical.
I was just thinking you had different life experiences and knowledge than me; which lead you to have a different point of view. You make a good point to not just give a pass to someone who verbally abuses other people. That Mom would likely benefit from some professional counseling.
Her kids will eat green things. They’ve just never been hungry enough for her to discover it.
Thanks for the proper edit.
To be sure, I’d like to imagine most parents of children with specific needs would be more sensitized to the individual abilities and limitations of others, like the people who appear to be immigrant restaurateurs on the receiving end of her rudeness. That said, Mr. V’s reframe struck me as a sufficiently genuine possibility that I’d feel pretty shitty about my earlier jab if I learned that was, in fact, the case. Not that would excuse her horrid behavior, hells no. But I would feel bad that I jumped at the chance to mock her.
Well I don’t feel badly. She was being unreasonable with those nice folks, and there’s very little more than 1.000 ways about it.
I like to think that if I were one of the (many!) patrons there, I’d have said something before the vid ended.
But that’s how I get into trouble. And running from WalMart security folk.
I have a kid with Aspergers. Trying to get him to eat green things (or anything) is near impossible (although funnily, green is his preferred colour for everything else). Any variation to his diet is a big win. He won’t tantrum or yell about his food (unless something else has triggered a meltdown, around the same time as a meal), but he also will happily go incredible lengths of time without eating.
To give an example, he loves ice-cream cones. It fills two of his sensory preferences (cold, and crunchy). He won’t eat ice-cream in a bowl. Offer it to him, and he’ll politely turn it down. Explain that there’s no alternative desert, and he’s fine with that. He’s just incredibly hard wired into his preferences.
However, this lady was being a dumb bitch, so you’re probably safe in assuming that her kids are spoiled brats.
My kids both work in a mall food court.
They come home with stories like this after most shifts. A good day it a temper tantrum free day.
The younger one just says “So you don’t want it?” and puts the order aside to eat on her break.
It stressed them in the first weeks, now it’s just a story to laugh about at dinner.
I’m just guessing you wouldn’t dare call out black, jewish, muslim, Indian, etc., “cultural whateverness” in the same way. Nor should you. It’s not instructive and is lazy stereotyping.
As above, seems kinda fake. Performance art piece?
Of course, this probably occurs hundreds of times a day here in 'Murica. If this has to be the face of it, like, whatever.
As a hypothetical bystander, is there anything constructive to add to the situation?
“Hey lady, your car is getting towed!”
“I’m trying to eat here, you want to take your tantrum somewhere else?”
I feel bad if she really does have kids with “needs”. She seems ill-equipped.
Laughing often does wonders.
WON’T SOMEONE THINK OF THE WHITE PEOPLE, THE MOST OPPRESSED PEOPLE IN HISTORY???
Read Kitchenette on Jezebel. It’s full of stories like that.
(ETA: gah. that was meant to be a reply to @Luke_Schollmeyer. Fucking Chrome)
Tru dat. The words ‘get the fuck out of my restaurant’ are not heard nearly enough (unless you are a waiter, that is…).
I feel like an oppressed mass today, but I’ve just finished a 26-hr shift. I’m gonna sit in my nice flat and get drunk though, so there’s that
May I offer an apology to the nice ladies at the restaurant on behalf of the Americans who are not dicks?
I hope the restaurant owner will inform here that she is no longer welcome there.
There is a fun way to deal with someone like her.: 1. Say “Oh, dear.” 2. Big sigh. 3. Cock your head to the side give a curious, incredulous, puzzled “Am I really seeing this?” kind of look. 4. Offer a very ambiguously sincere or sarcastic apology. 5. Say “It’s been a pleasure doing business with you!” when she leaves.