A schoolfriend of mine told me of a co-worker in his department who proposed to another co-worker on their very first date. At that time we all worked for the same company, so I and everyone else already knew of First-Date-Boy’s (ahem) unusual character. He and his roommate each refused to kick in $ to purchase a TV, so their Star Trek OS fix was dealt with by watching episodes through the storefront window of a home electronics business in the mall across the street from our main building. Picture two idiots doing that after asking a store manager to tune a TV to their selection. We thought that was bizarre, until…
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A real gentleman in the boingboing sense of the word.
Reminds me of my sad uncle who said he’d never met a nice person in his life.
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ETA: faculty corollary is “if you have one Department Chair who’s an asshole, you’ve had one department chair who’s an asshole. If all your Chairs are assholes, you’re the asshole.
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This kind of thing happens all the fucking time.
There are entire subreddits dedicated solely to describing these kinds of dates.
And no matter how many times it happens, it is never fucking okay.
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It does sound like some sh***y manipulation tactics.
The “I’ll order for you” bit may be a “man takes the lead” thing. Supposedly some women like that.
The “wine = calories” thing may be an attempt to “neg” her, and/or to goad her into drinking more.
The “displeasure of her paying her share” was just him realizing he was outmaneuvered so she won’t “owe” him anything. But he can sort of justify it by saying “who asked the other out, pays.”
Should have just been a GENUINE nice guy instead.
On the other hand, there are certain people who will not ever pay for meals, mainly due to princess mentality.
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Yeah, creepy. Don’t really get why she didn’t walk.
Also, secretly recording your date isn’t not creepy.
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I’m guessing that he said some bizarre stuff prior to audio recording the dinner (she refers to previous conversation re: opening doors when they were leaving the restaurant). I’m also guessing that she is recording just in case something terrible happens.
I think the biggest difference between you and the women on this forum is that we understand exactly why she audio recorded the date. Sigh. It must be wonderful to not to have to think about one’s safety when going out on a first date.
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Maybe if you act nicer somebody will buy you dinner.
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People need to keep that in mind when they whinge about her recording the conversation or make excuses for this guy being an overbearing, misogynistic asshole.
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Has any woman who has dated straight men in the past 45 years not been on a date like this though?
I recall one guy who spent the entire dinner trashing the last girl he took out, casually mentioned that his money comes from some kind of dark Israeli connection and that his dad was back in Israel because he had ordered a hit on his mother, and then demanded/begged for a parting hand job as I got in my car.*
That wasn’t even my worst date in Dallas.
Whether this is staged or not it’s a perfectly relatable mundane and common experience that no one has ever suggested was in any way something that should not be expected when going on a date with anyone ever in my lifetime and that no one has ever suggested I should not expect going forward. I kept at it and ended up marrying some one so I’m out of that game hopefully forever, but the memories will last a lifetime.
*(And for the record for both prurient minds and the morality police worried about financial crimes against men going on dates: I said no even though I was actually pretty scared when I reflect back on it. He wasn’t being overtly aggressive so thought I could get my door closed before he could potentially rush me. Also, I paid for my half because regardless of gender politics that is what you do when you want to GTFO as fast as possible from a date–You pay first, you pay fast, and then you flee. The less there is to talk about the better. )
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I doubt she was recording only. It was probably live transmission to a friend just in case he tried to rape or kill her.
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I was seriously wondering why that didn’t look familiar. Wha …?
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It was a Nespresso commercial apparently.
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When I’m planning a first date with someone, no matter their gender, I make sure they have my full legal name, my license plate, description of my car, etc. before before we even start. I consider it something that protects everyone, again, no matter our respective genders. Most cis women, most enbys, and most trans men have all understood without any additional explanation. Fewer trans women have, but the idea is understandable. Almost none of the cis men have understood why I do that without additional information.
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