I think it’s a good thing because it plainly disqualifies him for office.
vitriol goes here
VVVVVVVVVV
But everyone LOVES Grandpa Addams!
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“Finalist pending?” Pending what, actually being named a finalist? Hell, I was a National Merit semi-finalist, maybe I could have buffed my college applications with all sorts of “pending” awards. I’m in the running for several Nobels and the Man Booker, you know. The latter is only pending me writing a novel.
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Can’t wait for the next generation of presidential candidates, raised in undeletable internet age.
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Maybe that’s the point when we’ll just stop having presidents… And switch over to memelords who are voted in based on their dankness and the rarity of their Pepes.
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@AcerPlatanoides Damn You, this game is harder then it looks!
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In business, it’s often said that a sure way to get promoted is to be an annoying smarmy slimeball. Maybe the same thing happens sub-consciously in democracy - we don’t want to lose the good people, so we encourage the Ted Cruz’s of the world to run for office?
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Yep! We enforce it by shipping off anyone without common sense and decency to other countries and encouraging them to take over…
I mean, umm, we send away our best and brightest as ambassadors to the world. Yes, that’s it.
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I think it means the mock-up went to the printer (remember those days?) before the official announcement, which would come some time after the SAT scores were tabulated for everyone in the country in the same graduating class. Those tests didn’t used to be taken so early in one’s high school schedule, so they probably waited until late spring each year to figure out the winners.
Christ what an (megalomaniac) asshole!
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I always thought that Ted Cruz both looks and sounds like a baby who is about to start crying.
Driving through BC and YT (from Montana to Alaska in 2009) was my first and only time in Canada. Here are my impressions, that I have told lots of people over the years:
Cleanest and most trash/garbage-free highways I’ve ever seen. They were so clean, the (not kidding) three or four times I actually saw trash along the side of the road during the entire 2000+ mile drive, it stood out like a sore thumb.
No billboards along the sides of the highways. Again, the three or four hand-lettered signs I spotted on along the road during my drive, for yard sales or whatever, were so infrequent that I stopped and carefully read each one of them.
More miniature golf and more A&W rootbeer stands than I’ve ever seen in my life.
More families strolling around with their kids, or pushing baby buggies, than I’ve ever seen. Strolling in the middle of the day, during a work week! It was inexplicable. Also, more families with dogs than I’ve ever seen.
Cigarettes were expensive as heck! And on the outside of every pack was a full-color picture of a cancerous lung, or a cancerous brain, or a cancerous throat, or some kind of tumor or lesion or something. Even being a smoker (at the time) I thought these were both very good things!
Cleanest rest stops I’ve ever seen. Fun Fact: you know how at rest stops in America, the lights stay on in the parking areas all night, I guess so that, in theory, the rapists and serial killers can’t sneak up on you quite so easily? Well in BC and YT, the rest stops are small and safe and cozy and totally dark at night. No parking lot lights are on. Total darkness. It’s easy to sleep. Also, at every rest stop where I spent the night, mine was the only vehicle. I pulled into one rest stop and there was a herd of horses standing there.
I did get spooked at one rest stop, though, in the middle of nowhere. I pulled up, the only car in the lot, and the very second I turned off the engine and rolled down my window, a guy was immediately right there walking past me, not two feet away from my car. It was as if he’d come out of nowhere! And he didn’t say a word! What’s worse, as I watched him walk past, in silhouette (it was dark) I could see that his knees were on backwards or something. His legs bent backwards as he walked, not forwards! Holy shit! AND: after he went into the public restroom, when he exited, instead of walking on down the road in the same direction he’d been heading when he materialized beside my car the first time, he instead went off into the woods. The thought of this backwards-kneed (and possibly even supernatural?) dude circling back around and/or appearing out of nowhere beside my car window again kept me from being able to go to sleep, so I drove on for another 50 miles or so.
The only negative? It appeared to me that people were driving noticeably faster, much faster actually, than average Americans would typically drive in comparable conditions (two lane roads, on curves, uphill/downhill, at intersections, through neighborhoods, etc.)
Canada (or BC / YT at least) wasn’t just like being in another country: it was like being in another decade, the 1950s or something. It was wonderful.
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I’m just glad that, when I was a teenager, video cameras were expensive and rare, and the internet did not exist. Ted Cruz isn’t the only one who said some stupid shit at that age. Of course, I like to think I grew out of most of my assholery. Doesn’t seem as though Teddy has.
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This is terrible, truths such as these should not be exposed!
I suppose I should just reveal all… Ted Cruz was Canada’s lead field agent in our failed bid to take over the world by appearing in teen tit movies.
No way a person who was once a spy for Canada should be able to become President!?
amirite?
I’ve been to Toronto twice. Nice city, though more homeless in the streets than one would think. I still have a couple friends who live there and one that moved to America.
But anyway, the one thing I can’t ever forgive - their Mt. Dew doesn’t have caffeine. It doesn’t say that on the box, but they all know it doesn’t. They have some law that caffeinated drinks need to not be see through - or caramel colored. Something like that. It’s a backwards, crazy law.
