I get that a lot… it’s these full-figured nacelles.
3 Likes
+ RECEIVE WIDEBAND TRANSMISSION FROM HMS IGNOBLE CALUMNIE +
“why he no like glorious moosekind? maybe moose poop lawn?”
+ HYPOTHESIS FALSE. NEWS ARCHIVE SHOW CAPTAIN MACMICHAEL ONLY +
+ ... RECEIVE QUOTE ... "DRUNKASS BIGOTTED PAXHOLE". +
+ RECORD SHOW HE NO LIKE ANY RACE BUT HUMAN AND LOBSTER. +
+ RECORD SHOW LOBSTER FOR HIM EAT +
“oh. BAMBI, macmichael go to same place as place?”
+ RECEIVE YES +
“shazbot”
~ Captain Browf Clamphoof of the Cosmosword ~
5 Likes
Are you and the young ladies finally getting along? Can I sell you some soap?
-David Falkayn
2 Likes
Here’s an outline of the Muddlin’ Through made with Sharpies.
That’s what you wanted, right?
-David Falkayn
19 Likes
Obviously we are going that way, good sir. I didn’t get to where I am by giving away all my secrets.
1 Like
I dropped them off for ransom, of course. Large amounts of ransom money. If you hear they were taken from me by a (space) pig, that’s a lie. A damned lie!
Lots of ransom. Money.
How much for the soap though? There have been, um, complaints.
Not from the ladies though.
From me! My crew reeks.
Yes. My crew.
3 Likes
This is the first I’ve heard of this here faux-BBS, but this (thread? event? expedition?) sounds like a blast 
Vessel Information
1.) Name of vessel:
Truck With Beer
2.) Please select the attribute that best describes your ship:
Durable protect beer
3.) Description of previous work experience in haiku:
Where haiku? Lucy only work in no tell test rooms.
Captain Information
4.) Full Name:
Lucy Best Gorilla
5.) Identity Class:
Best smart gorilla escape from no tell GenetiCorp test rooms.
6.) Are you over 20% on the cyborg spectrum (Y/N)
Arm talk when Lucy make words with hands. Arm no have many words. Lucy hear many words. Lucy head buzz when Lucy hear words. Beer make arm and head no hurt.
Signing Bonus
7.) Would you like to immediately receive your signing bonus of Ƀ.015 (Space Bits) now or would you like to wait and receive Ƀ.030 as a deferred bonus?
Lucy have many beer now. No more now. Need more beer later.
8.) How much, if any, of your signing bonus should be applied to greasing the random number generator during the character creation phase?
Half
By submitting this application document to the Unizone Corporation, you agree to serve faithfully under the Terms and Conditions of our Endless User License Agreement.
Lucy need to put terms of no end user thing above head?
Lucy not know how to use sharp pie. Lucy draw this
12 Likes
Ahh… I think I’ve ssseen thisss vessssel moored behind Pete’s Ssscrapyard a while back. Honessstly, I’d thought it was just a 5500-gallon drum of ssspent reactor coolant.
Truck With Beer:
Hey, Mackey! Didn’t you once ssserve a ssspell in one o’ them motel restroomsss out Centauri way?
6 Likes
Aye, me second Honeymoon. That marriage didn’t work out neither.
Never marry a lobster, sooner or later they turn Red too.
1 Like
Okay, here goes!
*Vessel Information*
1. Grand Striped Blazer
2. Durable
3. Cadet from the brink
Turned vigilante just now
Thanks to cardigans.
*Captain Information*
4. Sorbet Wooster
5. Space Lobster
6. Yes, about 75% minus the brain and tail.
7. I'll bide my time on this one.
8. 10% for greasing please.
5 Likes
House ship splintered last run through this churning sullied mess y’all mark as Charybdis. El-Esk, fragmented - drawn back to dust.
Good thing, too. House captains are overlong on the emotional expression - odd, given their gutted and etiolated behaviours - back in the core days, back when it all came together.
Which is why we split, in the end. There’s only so much philosophical cant you can put up with - even if the figure spouting it are seventeen-klick long cyborg steel-sword post-human monstrosities. Hell. It gets boring, after a while. There’s a whole 'verse out there, and these fossil creatures are hewing back to their prototypical transgressions - working through their failures and regrets for millenia.
And we bear the brunt.
So, hey. The good ship ‘Colour Bomb.’ We’re the magpies. We were the house dilettantes - the hollow, not hallowed one. Now we’re the house defectors, and the defects. Kind of slunk away with as much tech as we could humanly (inhumanly? abhumanly) steal - spun out to parts unknown, parts unknowable.
Its a festival, kids. We aim to have fun.
This is not a sharpie drawing. This is a tablet drawing. We ditched Sharpies, what… ten, twenty millenia ago. Emmaline has a few museum pieces, sure - but I’m not cracking them - and upsetting the poor assembly-thing - just for a technicality. You’ll be happy with this artistic rendering of the ‘Colour Bomb’ - all 801201.2 garish millimeters of her.
- Vessel Information *
1.) Name of vessel: Color Bomb
2.) Please select the attribute that best describes your ship:
Lucky
3.) Description of previous work experience in haiku:
Poison sinks through non-veins,
Processed safely but the heme recalls,
This cannot be work
Captain Information
4.) Full Name: Representative Netch 'Fiore
5.) Identity Class: Human
6.) Are you over 20% on the cyborg spectrum: Yes
Signing Bonus
7.) Would you like to immediately receive your signing bonus of Ƀ.015 (Space Bits) now or would you like to wait and receive Ƀ.030 as a deferred bonus? Now - so we can grease things.
8.) How much, if any, of your signing bonus should be applied to greasing the random number generator during the character creation phase? All of the whole damn mess. We’ve tech - house tech, and more besides. But luck trumps tech, any day. Our gods are lucky gods. They eat lucky 'spacers.
13 Likes
4 Likes
-----------------------
Unizone Corporation
-----------------------
General Services Contract
* Vessel Information *
1.) Name of vessel: __Didn't See That Coming__
2.) Please select the attribute that best describes your ship:
Durable. Uses the latest technology from Carpathia, makers of fine hull enhancements for over two centuries.
3.) Description of previous work experience in haiku:
Primates. Amirite?
Now consider the lobster:
Spacefaring badass
*Captain Information*
4.) Full Name:__Lazlo 'Scuttle' Deepwalker__
5.) Identity Class:
Space Lobster! Go deep or go home.
6.) Are you over 20% on the cyborg spectrum (Y/N)
No. Performance-enhancing enhancements? Bah.
*Signing Bonus*
7.) Would you like to immediately receive your signing bonus of Ƀ.015 (Space Bits) now or would you like to wait and receive Ƀ.030 as a deferred bonus?
Deferred, please. None of this so-called "immediate gratification" all these warmbloods are always on about.
8.) How much, if any, of your signing bonus should be applied to greasing the random number generator during the character creation phase?
None. Any spacefaring species knows full well that one must embrace the fully quantum nature of the universe. I for one welcome our truly random overlords.
By submitting this application document to the Unizone Corporation, you agree to serve faithfully under the Terms and Conditions of our Endless User License Agreement.
Enclosed: Rough builder’s sketch of the Didn’t See That Coming.
12 Likes
I.C.U.P. built, but the line cancelled and remaining vessels sold off at aggressive discount due to “non-ledger intangibles”. The Obsiditanium outer hull sheds paint as easily as wine or bloody pieces of former crewmen.
The quad-band resonance array is actually an old design, and while by all accounts more efficient than the standard sex-band arrays, a combination of other factors, surely tied to unrelated design decisions on the ships that carried them, have left few of them in the galaxy. It must also be admitted that advertising for the rival design was just inherently punchier.
6 Likes
Thanks!
1 Like
YEAH!
Charybdis just became a much more interesting place!
The First Round of drinks is on me at wherever Netch 'Fiore wants to start the party
2 Likes
You want to best for your crew, to get the best from your crew. Regular use of soap is a proven way to get the best from people working close confines. You need to choose the right soap. The right soap makes for the right crew.
Here are three free samples. Try them out. See what works best. Tell me what works, and I’ll arrange regular deliveries to anywhere in the galaxy.
Since your crew seems to respect the opinions anime-loving girls, this might be a good place to start.
Alternatively, your crew’s sartorial choices suggest this might work well:
However, if you really want to ensure the loyalty of your crew and be confident that they’ll never skip bath time again, I can have a trusted friend deliver some Hazaran Poppy Soap . People love that soap – they keep asking for more.
-David Falkayn,
Captain, Muddlin’ Through
We don’t carry this soap on the Muddlin’ Through because Adzel objects on moral grounds. Such are the compromises of a three-being crew that includes a four-ton Dracosuarian Buddhist as the Chief Engineer.
2 Likes
Sure. Would you like another?
10 Likes
Our cast list is beginning to look like the runners and riders for this years Grand National:
I.M.V. Carcinogenic Denture / Sssir Galaxxxy
H.M.S. IGNOBLE CALUMNIE / Milton “Mackey” MacMichael
A Certain… Moral Flexibility Would Be The Only Way To Describe It / Watford Gap
Dabohaze / Mamma “Luckybeard” Aiuto
The YOLO Mk2 / Everest Fullerton
Smiling Dingo / Avery Waters
Muddlin’ Through / David Falkayn, Star Trader
Audacious Blip / Natasha Fatale
PLEIADES_360 / PHUONG_N
Scrumpert / Nollie Underflip
The Somewhat Broken Heart / Quirky Kumquat
ZepEx Express 1337 / Hieronymus Farnsworth
Wildfire / Ace Rimmer
Awesomating Overthruster / Rkt88 Edmo
The S.O.L. Jr., a division of ConGypsCo / Mrs. Richard Basehart
Matango’s Revenge / Arora Stamets
SLS Say Monkey / Captain Information
Flying Chemex / Lorem Ipsum
Entropy / “Captain” Jacques Malchance
USSS Rustbucket / Zaphod Tiberius Skywalker
HMS Gargle Blaster / Zaphod Bollocks Beeblebrox
Cosmosword / Captain 2nd Class Browf Clamphoof
USGFP Startlingly Improbable Series of Consequences / Hashtag T. Weeter
ISS My Daughter Drew This (formerly the ISS Quickly Thrown Together) / Newlireconstructed
Truck With Beer / Lucy Best Gorilla
Grand Striped Blazer / Sorbet Wooster
Color Bomb / Representative Netch 'Fiore
Didn’t See That Coming / Lazlo ‘Scuttle’ Deepwalker
The Inflatable Pub / Lord William Francis, the 2nd
Looks like 29 so far plus @miasm
We had 34 last time out?
6 Likes
