Tina Fey is, I’m sure, disappointed. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iVvpXZxXWZU
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NO MORE SHEET CAKES!??!!?!?!
ALL THIS CORONAVIRUS HYPE IS POLITICAL CORRECTNESS RUN AMOK!!!
MY RIGHT TO DIABETUS BY COSTCO HYDROGENATED OIL SHEET CAKE FROSTING SHALL NOT BE INFRINGED!??!? DO YOU HEAR ME? SHALL NOT BE INFRINGED!!!
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It’s your constitutional right to binge on sheet cake. We should sue Costco.
Edited: damnit, someone beat me to the gluttony-as-an-American-ideal punchline.
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Eh, American sheet cakes are almost universally trash anyways.
Why should they be wearing gloves? To breed germs in them?
Sure, but that’s kinda the whole point of them.
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Making one yourself could be infinitely better than store-bought, though. The traditional bakery version, of sweetened, whipped hydrogenated vegetable oil (I suppose they use coconut oil now) on yellow cake from a mix was the kind of thing that caused people to ignorantly claim they “didn’t like cake.”
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I love that you’re taking a moral stand on the quality of cake and peoples’ access to said quality. This feels like classic BB. The world needs more cake and less of…well…everything else that we have right now.
ETA: I’m one of those people who thinks I don’t like cake, so now you’ve got me wondering where to get a good one to try.
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Costco frosting is sweetened oil slick. I suspect it comes in 55-gallon drums. The memory of the mouthfeel alone makes me cringe.
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Getting good cake seems really difficult in the US. I don’t know how it got this bad*. Other countries have decent patisseries. Somehow things went wrong here, and good bakeries are hard to find. I recollect a local bakery that everyone seemed to love when I was growing up, but the love was inexplicable as it had the same crappy mass-produced cake as everyone else. (*Though I blame cake mixes and the 1950s mass-produced, advertising-driven food standardization for all this. They seem to have destroyed America’s existing cake culture.)
Which is why I bake my own. The problem with that is, you have to have good recipes, but also a willingness to eat a certain number of failures before you get the hang of baking. But at least those failures are likely to be better than store-bought cake.
And it’s exactly like the cake sold so many other places. It’s so weirdly standardized, like everyone agreed to use exactly the same horrible recipe. Presumably it’s the recipe that’s most easily mass-produced, using the cheapest-possible ingredients, over-sweetened to average American tastes.
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Recipes are not hard to find. Rose Levy Beranbaum’s Cake Bible is dependable, Bruce Healy and Paul Bugat’s Art of The Cake is encyclopedic reference for classic French-style cakes, Marcel Desaulnier’s Death by Chocolate Cakes has a lot of fun fancy party cakes, Alice Medrich’s Cocolat is just pure cake porn…I could go on.
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Pffft. Sure a machine can decorate perfectly proportioned pieces of cake. However, in a tube cake pan crisis, you need a human. Rescuing lumps from a greased and floured pan, and then molding them back into a nicely decorated, cake-shaped treat with nothing but icing, toothpicks, and sheer determination* - that requires an artist! 
*or desperation, due to a lack of enough time and/or ingredients to start over again
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Yeah, they aren’t hard to find at all, but my concern is that if you’re starting from zero, you might not recognize that they’re good recipes. Though it’s hard to go wrong with any French or Italian cookbooks with desserts, or really any serious cookbook at all.
Er… I can still get sheet cakes from my local bakery, if need be.
Can’t say I’d ever have bought one from Costco, even before the pandemic; that sounds rather… less than tasty.
And as y’all should know by now, I’m pretty serious about my cake.
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Apparently the combo pizzas “aren’t coming back either”. Just pepperoni or cheese.
Source: the guy who handed me a pizza the last time I was at Costco.
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cake is for looking at
pie is for eating
Fear not.
There are alternatives.
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