Yes- this. FTW
Edit- seriously occurred to me that anything could be a hole in one… why not give having a shitty game of golf a new meaning?
We could frame the holes with little toilet seats, get your exercise and your business done all in one game.
It could be a drunk sport! I don’t think I’d make it past 9 holes though. And you’ve got shit luck if you have diahrehha
There’s a man with low moral fiber even though he is a man with high dietary fiber
He would have gotten away with it too if it weren’t for you meddlin’ kids!
About 15 years ago I worked as a blast hole driller in the gold industry in Western Australia. Mostly in surface mining, which involves drilling a lot of vertical 1-6 metre deep 5" diameter holes (hey, the drillbits are mostly manufactured in the US (and maybe Liberia?) so diameters are specified in inches, but the holes are in Australia so depths are in metric). The drilling company subcontracts to the company which owns the mine. The holes are filled with explosives (usually ANFO), usually by employees of the mine itself (with which there’s usually a more-or-less friendly rivalry). One common reality is sometime between the drilling of the hole and the filling with ANFO a fist-sized rock tumbles from the top of the hole and jams in the hole 20 or 30 cm down the hole. So before pouring the ANFO the shotfirers ‘dip’ the hole with a weighted tape, and if the hole is blocked at the top, reach down to remove the offending obstruction by hand.
Aaanyway, driller humour being what it is, this reality has resulted in many variations on the theme of: drill a hole only 30cm deep. Shit in the hole. Time this so you’ll be drilling somewhere further down the same shot [stretch of ground being prepped for blasting] so you get to watch the shotfirers fill the first half of the shot, dip the hole and realize it’s ‘blocked’, reach into the hole - and plunge their hand into a fresh shit.
I therefore think I can safely suggest that the Norwegian golf club should have a look at their members’ past employment histories and look for people who have worked in the mining industry…
If the only tool you have is your asshole…
If not for golf courses, I couldn’t have spent many a productive summer night sliding down the fairway on an ice block.
Actually, this specific golf-course is in Norway (more specifically about a mile from my house), and property-owners do in many cases owe the general public precisely that here. See https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Freedom_to_roam – and the general public DO have access to this golf-course. (which is why it’s so hard to find the culprit, I guess)
They are also usually excellent places for 'shrooming.
They need a sign
Guests are respectfully asked to refrain from shitting in the holes
There was a little chip-n-putt course in northern MN that had a frequent bear hazard.
… everything is a golf hole?
That explains why the turds were so huge—but I’d been led to believe that those guys shit in the woods.
Not if they’ve been treated with fungicides, as is often the case (it certainly was on the course near where I used to live in Co. Durham). It’s also possible that golf course soil is contaminated with lead, cadmium and arsenic from historical pesticide use, and these can accumulate in fungi.
What Floppyghost said.
Coprocadabra
They should declare war.
Plumb the holes with motion activated water jets that get activated at night (with slight delay, so that he/she can get started with their doody).
This might narrow the list of suspects – somebody who comes from an area where squat toilets are common.
Look for somebody who recently became vegetarian?
Why wouldn’t the poopetrator just sit on the hole to do their business?
Not if they’ve been treated with fungicides …
That’s mushroom hunting/harvesting. 'Shrooming is less impacted by environmental contaminants.
