Gwyneth Paltrow’s vagina candle explodes in London
Prog rock album titles.
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Obviously, you’re not supposed to use this candle at the same time as the Jade egg! Don’t let the energy streams cross. It’s common knowledge! Jeez, some people.
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Meanwhile, the “this smells like greed” candles are unaffected.
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I thought that was only a problem for the guys. (RIP Harold Ramis)
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He decided to create another fragrance, and considered calling it Second Cumming.
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I don’t know how he was talked out of a facial cleanser…
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There is a fun scene in season 3 of The Crown on Netflix where Harold Wilson has to report to the Queen about Princess Margaret entertaining LBJ with this limerick at a black tie dinner. Her version is slightly cruder than @atl’s.
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There were also a couple of cute ones Group Captain Peter Townsend and the King exchanged
"There was a girl named Sally
Who enjoyed an occasional dally
She sat on the lap
Of a well-endowed chap
And said, ‘Sir, you are right up my alley’ "
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“Time for the vaginal candle on top of your television set to explode.”
BOOM
“'Ow did 'e know that was going to 'appen?”
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It was a noob error on the part of the purchaser; they bought a Gwyneth Paltrow “Smells Like My Vagina” Roman Candle by mistake.
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Kettle, meet pot. That BB goes after anything after hawking the crap it does is hilarious!
(Not to defend any Goop-related nonsense.)
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It’s like calling a restaurant to complain about the food and/or the service and being offered a comped meal (this has happened to me), and I’m like; why would I want to eat there again, particularly if the staff know I complained the last time I was there?
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I’ve heard of a vagina dentata, is this a vagina inferna?
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It doesn’t have to be a big market when you are talking about writing “vagina” on a candle and selling it for $75.
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It’s easy for my brain to play tricks on me and skip words as I read them, like the word “candle” in this title.
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Goops whole brand is Ms. Paltrows vagina.
As long as someone is thinking about her vagina,
she wins!!!
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And there was a great flood.
Eww.
Tactical candle.
You cannot for a minute convince me that Gyneth Paltrow’s vagina does not smell like flowers and explode in uncontrollable flames unpredictably. I mean, there has to be something supernatural involved. I can’t fathom how she could possibly build a bullshit woo empire without the threat of incinerating people with a mighty jet of flame from her nethers.
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