How to deal with douchebag parking

boing
81

Non-destructive: BBs under the valve stem covers to slowly bleed off the tire pressure.

82

I heart black hat guy. If there is one person I idolise, itā€™s him.

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83

If the truck had a rope, they couldā€™ve pulled the car out of both spots.

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84

Nopeā€¦ the dude in the truck isnā€™t obstructing anyone but the merc guy. Iā€™m having trouble seeing why thatā€™s a wrong.

85

Just so everyone understands who is the douchebag (is it really that confusing?):

Person parks mercedes across 2 parking spaces (Probably in an effort to not get his precious metal box on wheels scratched), rendering one of the parking spaces unusable.

Guy in truck comes along and is (rightfully) pissed that someone would do that, so he parks on the curb in the half-space thatā€™s remaining, thereby using the parking space that was otherwise unusable, while blocking no one else and infuriating the dbag merc owner.

Do we understand now?

PS: the last time someone dbag parked me I poured beer all over his car. Donā€™t park like a dbag.

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86

I look forward to your hilarious deconstructions of other swear words and their true irrelevance to the topic being discussed.

Cold as fuck? I donā€™t think you know how fucking worksā€¦

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87

u jely?

88

I try never to douche with actual subwoofers and stereo systems, especially while operating a moving vehicle.

89

I see an application for industrial strength casters and some heavy lift airbags.

90

Yessiree, all the dings and scratches are going to be 100% deliberate, and the small acts of vandalism will be relished by the perpetrators.

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91

Wiley Coyote solution:

Trick them into driving into some kind of vacuum chamber and replicate the bell jar experiment. Two birds with one stone: you get to kill them, and no matter how loud they try to turn up the music before suffocating, thereā€™ll be no air to transmit the sound to the exterior. Also, you might be able to blow out their tires.

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92

unfortunately the truck is more likely to get a ticket or tow than the asshole who tried to take up two spots.

93

Motorcycle.

94

yeah, that looks like snow parking to me. Normally I wouldnā€™t give the benefit of the doubt, but the ground is wet and all the cars have that ā€œhad a ton of snowā€ look. Though my guess is that someone parked their car there for a while, which is a different kid of thing. Though if I were leaving my car somewhere I shouldnā€™t be, Iā€™d make more of an effort to make sure it was inside the lines as to not draw attention.

95

Carpet knife blades gently inserted between the treads will do the same. The solution is a little more expensive, howeverā€¦

96

Over here, you fail your driving test if you canā€™t park exactly in the linesā€¦

97

Mind: blown.

98

The abject horror of womenā€™s bodies should be taken as a given and not brought up in polite conversation. Sorry I went so far off-topic.

100

I believe the responsibility for worrying about that belongs to truck guy. And I suspect heā€™d gladly pay any such ticket, so long as he got to see the look on merc dudes face.

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101

Naw G.

Motorcycle in space next to curb, aligned to be next to curb.
+/-
Vehicle in space adjacent to space next to curb.

(+) No space for Benz
(-) Space for Benz parked correctly in space adjacent to space next to curb.

Benz was being a shitbag, period.