They scotched that flavor early, in favor of Scotch.
Also, the Puritans objected to Ambergris Necco wafers, on account of the shocking deep-beige color, which was believed to inflame the passions.
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I too watch Bob’s Burgers.
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They’re round chocolate things with a shell.
They’re all meh. Like chocolate is generally.
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As Louis CK said "Everybody has a competition in their brain of good thoughts and bad thoughts. Hopefully, the good thoughts win. For me, I always have both. I have like, the thing, I believe the good thing, that’s the thing I believe and than there is this thing. And I don’t believe it, but it is there. It’s always this thing and then this thing. It’s become a category in my brain that I call ‘of course but maybe’.
I’ll give you an example, okay? Like of course, of course, children who have nut allergies need to be protected, of course. We have to segregate their food from nuts, have their medication available at all times, and anybody who manufactures or serves food needs to be aware of deadly nut allergies, of course, but maybe. Maybe if touching a nut kills you, you’re supposed to die. Of course not, of course not, of course not. Jesus. I have a nephew who has that. I’d be devastated if something happened to him. But maybe, maybe if we all just do this for one year, we’re done with nut allergies for ever. No, of course not, of course."
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We give out dinosaur toys.
Not because of this, though. We just like the idea of toys.
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I’ve got this picture in my head of the Smarties/Rockets company. One small factory, with five employees, but with this giant warehouse adjacent to their own high capacity freight rail spur. They toil nine months a year turning out these little sugar pills, then blow them out to distributors strictly for the Halloween season.
Their job done, they all fly to Hawaii for three months.
The New England Confectionary Company, on the other hand (I imagine), runs year round, turning out Necco Wafers, Sky Bars, and the caustic syrup used to make Moxie. The old brick factory is basically held together with layers of whitewash; the equipment is so old it is powered by treadmills. They used indentured Irishmen and Skanpo Islanders in the old days; now they bring in winos and idealistic interns from the CIA*. The flavors and colors are created in a sealed lab in the basement; to their credit, large amounts of fruit and nuts go in, but so also do tons of high-sulfur coal, murcreatic acid, and squid ink.
*Not the one in Foggy Bottom.
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Four of the six suggestions are bad ideas for diabetics. And people are allergic to carrots and raisins too. Bottled water, kids?
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Drought! The mere suggestion will get you lunched here in California.
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I always thought that M&Ms tasted like that pack of smarties that you lost in a cupboard a year ago.
I wish I could still eat chocolate. I’m not diabetic, but I have an addictive behaviour around it and ice cream so I will probably end up with diabetes if i have any. I don’t miss any other sugary stuff though.
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Some grown-up is always harshing on the party.
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At least throw a “please” and “thank you” in there, anonymous parent! This comes off as more of a demand than a request.
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They make my teeth hurt.
We had a family member who every year would crochet dozens of pencil toppers and hand them out on a pencil for Halloween. A few years before she died, a child saw her at an event and excitedly ran home, so she could bring back the collection of pencils with handmade pencil toppers she had from over the years. Moral? Pencils can be cool, too.
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I have a nephew who is severely allergic to nuts and a number of other foods as well (as in: immediate Epipen injection might be needed to keep him from dying if he gets a significant dose of nuts), but his mother (my sister) wouldn’t dream of trying to prevent any child in the neighborhood from having candy so her own child doesn’t miss out. Children with allergies have to be prepared to navigate a world full of whatever they are allergic to.
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I give out antihistamines and insulin at Halloween.
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I give out Blue-Star LSD.
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Just do what we did in Scotland and Carlisle. Give the kids some money and let them sort it out for themselves.
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Please! Bottled water is bad for the environment.
Kids can bring their own bottles. Or better yet, shout “TRICK OR FOLK SONG,” and the home-owner breaks into a sea-shanty or ten verses of elvish poetry.
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Pencils are cool. Just took me a few decades to realize.
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