Oh, I’m the most comfortable crapper I know. Two or three times a day, usually with something to read. But the ol’ buttcrack is somewhat hairy, and sometimes the poop isn’t quite as firm as one would like, and you end up with wipe after wipe after wipe. There’s also an element of not really wanting to feel the intimate contours and textural details of my own dingleberried anus through the paper, so I prefer a few insulating layers.
Sometimes, however, the poop is just the right consistency and firmness, and an impressively sizable bolus will emerge… but the first wipe results in unaccountably clean paper. “The Phantom Poop” I call those occasions, and it feels like a blessing to my day.
