I was shocked (Shocked!) to discover that my kids, once they stopped using diapers, could generate such monstrous turds without breaking a sweat. Of course, their bowels are young and healthy, and their diets are much, much better than my own. Still, it’s alarming when a sweet little 4-year-old girl can pinch a loaf as long and thick as her arm without complaint.
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There’s a comedian from Cape Breton who used to joke that she was going to become a ‘meatatarian’ - only eat meat or cheese - because it was better for the environment.
She’d only have to be go to the privy once a week; think of all the toilet paper she was saving.
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The Internet has a purpose at last!
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There is a science to this
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Aw, man…
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At least it’s in this thread. 
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For now, anyway.
I know how “you mutants” operate…
*lolz
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Ah man, those things are terrible. Poop just sits there stinking. Releasing its molecules to eventually find their way into peoples’ noses. Not cool.
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We had one of those in our campus apartment when my partner taught in the Netherlands. (It was an older building, about to get renovated.)
I hated it so much.
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Hurrah! At last some credit given to the Bristol Stool Chart.
(Some friends of mine had a laminated Bristol Stool Chart on the wall of their toilet. Almost everyone who visited asked where they could get a copy).
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Two inches across is insane. That’s a poo from an animal that has a much larger anal sphincter than a human’s. Like a cow, or a tiger.
Although diameter means two completely different things in math. And I have the feeling that they’re treating poo as a cylinder, where a diameter would really be an approximate circumference, and not it’s actual diameter.
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No kidding
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Wow! Judging from a GIS, Bristol Stool Chart cakes are a thing.
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As someone living in Bristol, I’m erm, conflicted, that we’re famous for our poo measuring.
Personally I vary from 6 to 2 from week to week. I blame my appendicitis, I was comfortably regular before that.
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My 15 month old already has me whipped in the diameter and consistency department. She takes after her mother, who could eat a bag of nails and gunpowder and still drop a 100/100 type 4 any day of the week (well, actually exactly every other day). Judging from what I saw this morning in her little potty, her old man at least has her beat in the ability to properly masticate and digest edamame, so that’s something.
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Alas. My resolution to turn over a new leaf lasted all of three hours. I tried having steamed chicken and veggies for lunch. But then I was still hungry. So I went across the street to the Dog Haus for a double cheeseburger, tater tots, and a chocolate shake.
And yes indeed: leftover Little Caesar’s pepperoni pizza for dinner. You know me too well.
Maybe this is a cry for help.
But anyway, Mister Teenybutt, a 2-inch diameter turd is neither unhealthy nor freakishly huge. Get thee to some leafy greens!
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