But, but, enzymes!
(And/or lingering vitalist theories that are basically ‘consume the blood and flesh of your foes to gain their life essence’; but for vegetarian types.)
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I get why this device and service made sense - I’ve never been that in to juices, but for those who are and who believe the health benefits, it would make a lot of sense to have fresh produce in an airtight (air-free?) pouch that could be put in a machine and deliver real fresh “cold-pressed” juice. It would have the potential to be almost as fresh if not fresher, and so much more convenient and less messy. But the fact that the juice can be produced by hand shows the whole thing to be a fraud, and I watch with great schadenfreude the demise of Juceiro. I can only hope between this and the collapse of Uber, this signals the beginning of the next dotcom bubble bursting.
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I’m extra confused here. If you can squeeze it out with your hands then surely the stuff has already been pressed. When this was first doing the rounds it sounded overpriced, but vaguely sensible. You get a bag of chopped up whatever, it get’s pressed right there and you enjoy your drink, nice and convenient. The thing you are spending the money on is the pressing.
But watching that video I got the impression that if you just cut the thing open and poured it’s content out it’d be the exact same thing as putting it through the machine…the only reason to squeeze it is because there’s only a little hole. If the pouches just came in a bottle it’d be just the same.
Doesn’t that shift things from “ha ha rich people” to “this is actually fraud”?
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Well, if it’s not a thing that people want to buy, then it doesn’t matter how well you have built in your subscription revenue model, you aren’t going to sell any and you (or in this case, the investors you gulled into giving you money) are going to lose their shirts.
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Audacity? It’s your duty to be tracked no matter what you do. Hence IoT (which is not making it into my house and car thank you) which actually stands for Idiocracy of Tracking.
Something tells me that it isn’t the “you” in this that loses the money. Twitter, Uber execs are all doing very nicely thank you. Their investors…
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What a glorious time to be alive.
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The photographer spoiled over half a million dollars of unicorn blood there!
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#
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
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Couldn’t they also make a mint just making an expensive juicer that has an optional subscription service where you get fresh fruit in the mail twice a month?
Call it Juicr, make a smartphone app for juice selfies and recipe sharing, then retire at age 27.
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The spout at the bottom of the canister, I’m sure I never used it. Yeah, it’s just a blender with a beefy motor. I can wear out anything.
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I’ve got their counter top induction burner…love it.
I buy home stuff at the supply place.
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This purchaser, cited in the article, might be the type specimen…
Kippy Williams, owner of Kippy’s Organic Non-Dairy Ice Cream Shop in Los Angeles and Toyko, said she purchased her Juicero late last year for $1,200. (Juicero charges businesses a premium, she said.) Williams, a self-proclaimed health-food evangelist, said she’d like to see the company sell packs by themselves to people who can’t afford the device. “It would be great if they offered people the opportunity to buy the packs and press them by hand,” she said. “I want juice for every man, woman and child.”
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Just eat fruit and vegetables. Cheaper and healthier.
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Maybe some do but K-cups and Nespresso both contain actual coffee of varying degrees of quality.
Nespresso is more like actual espresso, and makes “short” or “long” but not a full cup.
K-cups make a cup but is gross unless you get the fill your own reusable K-cup.
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I guess a lot of industries are looking at the printer-ink business and wondering how they can train consumers to accept a similar racket.[quote=“ambiguator, post:6, topic:99305”]
What is the market for this?
[/quote]
Originally it was a Post-Humanist thing – “eating and chewing are so unevolved, by drinking slime we transcend our meatbag nature”. Then it broadened.
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Dayum, that takes talent. We sold one at the estate sale last fall that my great-grandmother bought in the late 60s/early 70s. It saw heavy use for all of the rest of her life (late 90s), moderate use for another decade (Gramps made himself a milkshake every night) and back to heavy use when Gramps lost the ability to chew, then moderate to heavy use for several more years after my grandmother took over that house. It purred just like the one on my counter that’s a couple years old. I thought Vitamixes had to be taken to the cross-roads, have an iron spike driven through the motor, then be buried in a box of salt under the new moon to kill them.
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I’m now taking orders for my new, single-use “Green Beaner”. It’s $120 and only opens cans of green beans. Soon to be available at your local Crate & Barrel:
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I used it professionally to make soup, mayo and purees. It wasn’t my restaurant, but it was my blender. It worked great for at least several years, maybe as long as 4.
She sounds like a prize.
Slap on a QR code scanner that extends over the center of the lid to ensure that you’re only opening the finest artisinal canned green beans available (which I’m sure you’ll also be rushing to market ;)), and you could easily hit six figures on Kickstarter.
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