Silicon Valley's $400 Juicero "juicing system" turns out to be a machine that squeezes slime out of a bag

Where’s the DRM?

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3D food printers. With DRM protection on the cartridges of extrudable dough to stop customers refilling them.

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Oh I never meant to imply that they didn’t have real ground coffee in them. But I was under the impression that they ALSO contained an amount of instant coffee.

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Crossing my fingers!

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No, that’s achieved (as @Missy_Pants implied) by turning the brewing process in the espresso direction. I.e., if you increase the pressure, then the brewing happens faster.


Edited to add:

Oh, i see what you were saying. I’ve no idea on that.

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Oh my – all those precious enzymes!!!
Far be it from me to defend this thing, but perhaps it is just the one type of packet… When this thing was first reported on BB I recall seeing information about users opening the bags and using the pulp for other purposes (or at least for compost) – I think that the device web site actually had recipes for the left-over pulp.
Oh well, fools and their money…

It least the stuff tastes “just squeezed”…

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See you get it! Now you just need a way to put the DRM on the can so that
the can opener won’t open it until you pay an exorbitant amount to open
their green beans. I’m working on DRM toilet paper. Pay up or walk of
shame! Oh you’ve only paid for the 12 rolls per week… well you sir
were 1/2 a roll too short, double fee! TP overages! Roaming Charges.

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In a way, China’s already beaten you to that one. :wink:

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Wait, this is not a Boing Boing Store post?

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Once when I ran out of ground coffee for my little espresso maker I swiped a Nespresso capsule from the office kitchen and cut it open to use the coffee powder inside.

It’s like when Bear Grylls cuts open a deer’s eye and drinks the water inside, except that probably tastes better than Nespresso. :wink:

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Thats vitreous humour!

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I sometimes think that really smart people don’t make good con artists because they can see all the red flags raised by a scam and assume their mark would too, while a stupid person who wants to get ahead will think “That’d fool me, so it should fool anybody”

Maybe the inventors of this device are actually foolish enough to think that it’s a good idea and the only “clever” part was setting the price high enough that they wouldn’t need to sell a lot to turn a profit.

I’m glad you saw the humour in my statement…

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Bear Grylls: “Expresso machine is empty. Time to drink my own … instant.”

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So I was showing MrPants these videos and YouTube did that thing where its like “hey you like juicing videos, why not try this video” and… uh…

How is this not the exact same thing but with oh actual juice and fruit?

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Ha! perfect

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I used to have one of those. Works well but hella noisy. Next juicer I get will be a screw-type masticating one.

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Packs can’t be shipped long distances because the contents are perishable.

That’s vying for silliest aspect of this product. The advantage to prepacking something is you do it in such a way that prevents the contents from spoiling. Do these not have the air evacuated and the spout vacuum-sealed? What’s the fucken problem that literally every other packaged food manufacturer has solved that these techbro geniuses can’t seem to?

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There are already fruit and vegetable subscription services. Usually they’re local CSAs but I’m sure there are some that deliver by mail from farther away.

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